Why Do We Like Going on Dates and Why We End Up Not Really Liking It At All

I already wrote on Just Like NY that dating in NYC is hard, but I also said that I advise you to try. You should experience dating when you start living in this city. Because of a few reasons. 

1. Because you don’t want to miss the variety NYC offers. It would be a real shame not to take advantage of it. You come to the city of beautiful people from all different countries – just have some fun and see how it is. You can meet a Middle Eastern guy, an African guy, an American guy, Indonesian guy, a Latino, all in one week – just check it out and see what works for you. Or just simply enjoy it. You don’t have it in your country so go ahead – just do it. 

2. You can actually learn a lot about their cultures. You would be shocked what customs they have, also when it comes to sex. Expand your knowledge. It’s worth trying. 

3. To find out that despite of all the differences between us we are not that different when it comes to dating overall. To be honest, our behavior is very similar, regardless of what country we come from. 

4. It’s actually interesting to notice that some patterns remain the same. Maybe you’re meeting people from different countries, but it all just looks the same at some point. Every date is similar to the one you already had. You talk about your countries, about when you came to NY, your interests, jobs, but there’s this moment when you just get bored. Simply because you start feeling you’re wasting your time: this dude would probably not call you again anyway. Even if the date was great. Why? He has just too many options. And so do you. So even if he doesn’t call you, you’d be disappointed for maybe 3 days, then you’ll find another object of interest. At least this was my case.

5. That’s why dating here is hard. Sometimes I feel like we go on dates just for the sake to have dates, that we’re not that interested in a follow-up. Whenever someone goes on a date we ask them later – do you think you’d have the next one? And 95% of time the answer is – I don’t know. So if you really want to be in a relationship, it might be hard for you to find someone who is actually interested in getting to know you better. That’s the reality of NY. 

6. The other reality is that even if you had a few dates, even if you’ve been dating for 2-3 months, he (or she) might suddenly just disappear. I’ve heard many stories like that. Where did he go? He might have simply left the city, but most likely he just met someone else. Suck it up and move on.

7. And the most important lesson I learned is that you just start to appreciate “normal guys” who you would have turned down beforehand. Why? Because you notice that “normal” is not that bad overall; it’s actually the opposite. And you are more than happy to skip “the adventure of the unknown” and enjoy something familiar.