Dating is Hard Work

How does look a date in New York look like? Why even ask about it? Are you familiar with the saying: “It’s the journey that matters, not the destination?”. Hell, yeah: you better remember that one if you start dating in NYC.

You meet a guy. HE’S STRAIGHT! Yup, it can really happen! You exchange numbers, he says something about a meeting. Magic isn’t it?! It even looks like he doesn’t have a girlfriend (you’re so dazzled by the fact he’s heterosexual, you simply forget to even ask if he’s single; besides, they tend to forget whether they are in a relationship or not).  Your joy is so great, you feel like sharing it with everyone on the subway. You’re not even bothered by the fact most of the commuters wouldn’t understand English.

After a week (or 2-3 days if you’re luckier), you get a text. Wow! He made a bit of an effort – he actually looked up your name in his phone (you hope it wasn’t another girl by that same name he really meant). Moreover, he came up with a formed, grammatical sentence. Encouraging. Suddenly, you start to recall his face (he had curly hair, right?).

You set up a meeting for the nearest possible time, which is more or less a week from now (with an assumed knowledge that the time may move around for about two weeks – “It’s New York, you never know what will happen”).

Two days before that date, you of course, get a message from him: “Something came up” (“at work”, no less!), but the second half of the message is ecstatic: you two can meet a week from now. One hope died, yes, but another just started to flicker. Just in case, you make some vague alternative plans for the set date. After all, you failed to do so this time, and you end up alone in your apartment, pretending that catching up with the latest episode of “Chopped” is a better option than going out with a hot guy. 

A few days before the new date, you send each other text messages to confirm you are in fact a meeting. Well, yes! That is: most likely. Well, after all, „we can’t be sure yet”, but yes, most likely yes. Definitely, maybe…

Two days left. You look at your phone: nothing, zero messages. You keep saying to yourself: no message is a good message. No message is a good message… You look at the phone in the evening, 24 hours before the supposed date and you catch yourself speaking aloud at the device: “Well, boy, you have one more chance to exit the whole mess with some class! If you plan to cancel, better do it now, or stay silent forever!”.

The day of the date. You wake up and look at your phone. There’s a message! Oh, man! Don’t let it be this! Phew… It’s from your gay friend, he wants to reschedule the gossip meeting you were supposed to be having. You go to work, half of the day is gone – no messages. Really? This is happening? Is that even possible?

Four hours left till the date. Nothing! No message. He won’t cancel now, right? RIGHT? He’s not an asshole! He’s not, right…?

Two hours left till the date; you get a message asking what time do you finish your work. It turns out you have to stay an hour longer, so you ask if that’s ok. He says that it’s ok if you’re tired and want to reschedule. Your first thought: RESCHEDULE???!!! ARE YOU NUTS!!!???

You finish your work and you text him, saying you’re on your way. He texts back: OK. Since today, OK is your favorite word.

PS. So… How was the date? It was great. And you know why? Because before it happened, you literally had no time to form expectations about it – you were too busy wishing and coming up with magic spells to make it happen in the first place.