Loneliness and the City

What is it that makes us love New York City? It’s the sheer diversity of people, nationalities and characters. The so-called mix, which makes it one of the most unique places on earth. It would be difficult to find another city inhabited by folks from literally all over the world. Close to eight milion human beings with views differing from the ones we held so far. And with their heads open. New acquaintances are being made everyday here, and on every street corner. We get to know people of different religious beliefs, worldviews and ways of thinking – many of them startling and… immediately fascinating.

It may seem that New York is a city founded in order to facilitate new connections and relationships, as well as to helping you in finding your „better half” (the person who invented that phrase should be prosecuted, by the way). It is thought that thousands of single people come to New York in search of „that one true love” everyone knows from movies (some of those love afairs should never leave movies they were depicted in). All of those notions are wrong. If you believe that you will find your partner over here and you make this mission the main purpose of your trip, you better unpack now before you leave. Of course, you may find your partner here, but you may as well win the Power Ball. NY is a city of lonely people. Relationships begin Monday only to end Tuesday. More often than not, they’re not any more lasting than the latest rumor from the life of the Kardashians. Why is that the case?

As I said before, everyone who comes here is different and set their personal goals differently. Usually people set bars for themselves very high. That goes also for finding one’s partner. Many people nowadays liken the process of choosing a partner to choosing merchandise at a supermarket – we wander down the ailes, we pick and choose. And as soon as we put something in our basket, we immediately spot a better sale and put the previously chosen item back onto the shelf. NY is less a supermarket than a town made of outlets. A new fascination starts every day over here. People here are so exotic, every day you find a new attractive person and think to yourself: „This cannot be ‘it’ yet; there will be someone better tomorrow”. What you don’t take into account is that you yourself become mere exotic merchandise to be glanced at for a second – before the next sale arrives. If you decide to come here for longer, know you may be in for a lonely stay. Your need of affection will often bounce back from the bar you are responsible for setting yourself. Whether you will be happy here depends on how good you are at handling loneliness. As well as on how resistant you are to attractive things on sale.