Step 67 – When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?

When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I noticed an old journal of mine that I completely forgot about. I leafed through my notes from two years ago and… I just got embarrassed. And it wasn’t that I was writing about guys — which is usually the case. The stuff I read was about myself and my goals. The goals were great, so it wasn’t a problem, the problem is that … I have just set up similar goals for this coming year. In other words: what has changed, really? I was reading the same words I’m writing down right now: they concerned the question of what has to be done. The conclusion is, though: not much was done. It was pretty shocking, I must say, and it was a tremendous wake-up call. It reminded me of when I used to go to confession (don’t even asked me why I did it back then well — in Poland, everyone did) and I was saying the same sins over and over again. And sometimes I made up some new ones, just to not embarrassed myself that nothing has changed since the last month. 

It got me thinking about my approach to execution process — that’s something that has to be changed. Because it clearly didn’t work out. As they say: if you want a new result, you have to take new action. And that’s something I will be doing for the next few days, weeks and months (that’s for damn sure). And I don’t mean just thinking or writing about it. Something HAS TO BE DONE. Because words without action mean exactly nothing. And because I don’t want to find myself in the same exact position a year from today.

I wasn’t consistent with keeping my journal — that’s one of my goals for 2019 — but for now, I just received this electric shock that it really makes sense and it’s necessary. By reading my old journal right now, I discovered things that I didn’t like — but I also found out how much I’ve changed. And that’s the only reason for which I won’t beat myself up now.

The month I started writing my journal again two years ago, was the month I started believing that “I’m enough”. That’s the time I started doing the Lisa Nichols exercise I recommended on JLNY — the one that makes you look in the mirror and say: “I love you” to yourself. I just read in my journal that it was very painful for me at first and I wasn’t able to say it without crying. And I wrote that I hope that one day I could say it with a smile. Two years later I’m actually smiling saying these words. And I still say them every single day. And I’m proud of that. But it wasn’t easy. On the other hand, I’ve been learning that nothing that’s good for you ever is.  

I’ve encouraged you to keep a journal on JLNY already. All successful people do it daily. This act of introspection is very important for your mental health. Writing down your thoughts and fears will help you understand them in the long run. And it’s extremely helpful to clear your mind and calm it down. What everyone recommends is using a notebook, but I personally noticed I write more and am more consistent when I’m doing it on my computer. I’ve been doing it that way since I was 18 years old (this was when I got my first computer and that was the only thing I really used it for). Whenever I switch to a physical notebook, I just get very inconsistent.

Try it; try keeping a journal. Once again — you really have nothing to lose. It’s actually addictive and can be a lot of fun (and bring a lot of surprises, like mine example proved today)