You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs To… Find the Frog That Rises to Your Standards

I’ve had a few men in my life so far, and they always disappeared at some point (nowadays, I realize that they actually did me a favor). Once, I used to think it was the end of the world, but now I look at it all as a series of new beginnings… for myself. With this post, I want to let you know that there is a world after the guy is gone. And it’s actually a much better world. Why? Because it is a world in which you know more and you know better. And I’ve learned that every guy who came into my life gave me some kind of lesson. Some of them were there for a few months and some of them stayed there for only a short period of time (sometimes it was only a couple of hours).

Not every man enters your life to stay there. Most of them actually shouldn’t. They are there to teach you something. All the guys I went on dates with taught me something about… myself. Not about them, not about men in general: the lesson they all gave me concerned myself. Each of them showed me what makes me happy and what doesn’t. Some of them helped me to understand what doesn’t serve me and what is not for me anymore. 

When I think of some guys in my life now, I just open my eyes very widely and ask myself: “How the hell I was even interested in that guy in the first place?”. All of them were there to help me shape my standards, though. Now I know I don’t want a party boy, I don’t want a guy who smokes, who drinks a lot (not to mention drugs; a puff of weed every other day doesn’t work for me, either). I know I can’t be with a cheap guy. I don’t want his money; it’s not about that. But I really don’t like it when he makes a big deal of spending money; I find it embarrassing). I love gentlemen. I like when a guy does what he said he would and when he’s reaching out for things he cares about. I can’t stand posers and those who think that money can buy them everything (once I met a very nice older guy with money, we talked three times at my work – not even flirting – and when he left NY, he called me at my work, saying that he’d buy me a ticket to Las Vegas to visit him in his apartment. I was speechless and just said: “I don’t think so”. I still wonder what I would have said had Leo offered me that very option…I think I would have said the same thing, but who knows…). 

The guy you’re dating is not always “the one for the rest of your life”, so when something doesn’t work out and you guys break up (or he simply loses his interest), don’t jump off the bridge. I know you think that “the game is over” for you, but it certainly is not. It’s over with this particular guy. Think what lesson should be learned there and stop crying. I know it’s difficult to believe that there is another guy out there, but trust me – there always is. And the new ones keep coming. I want a new guy in my life, too, so I did this exercise and maybe it will help you, too. I did it a couple of weeks ago during my meditation – I thanked all the guys who had been in my life and… I said goodbye to them. I didn’t say mean things to them, I don’t hate them – there is no reason to be angry at them, they just did me a favor (thank god they didn’t stay in my life for a longer time! And btw – don’t hold onto any anger towards your old relationship stories, it just doesn’t help you get over with that and it doesn’t help you meet someone new). I just thanked them for what they all brought into my life (even if they lied to me – because it was also a lesson) and I moved on. I opened a new chapter for myself. The past ways got old. I made room for something new. And I met two new interesting guys the following week. I don’t know how long they’re staying, but if they’re planning on staying in my life, I make sure they rise up to my standards.  And my standards are not about what they can give me, but how they treat me. Because your standards should be about how you want to be treated and how do you want your man to make you feel. I know it now, but I had to kiss many frogs in order to get here. And I don’t even want a prince now (I’m done with princes, too). I’m fine with a frog, but it has to treat me the way I deserve.