Red Flag, or When You Know You Better Let This One Go

You meet a nice guy, you think that “this is it”, but at the same time you feel it’s not quite right. Here are 10 surefire signs that you should just let the guy go. I base those on my own experiences and on experiences of my girlfriends – both in Poland and here in NY.

1.       He’s not replying to your text messages on the same day. No matter how busy he is, I simply refuse to believe that he can’t find a minute to reply. There are 1440 minutes in each day and night. Can’t he devote one of them to you…? If not, then you don’t mean much to him.

2.       He generally responds infrequently and you have to wait for his reply like a dog awaits a bone thrown by its owner. A guy like that is just wasting your energy.

3.       He can’t see you for two weeks on end, because he’s “so busy at work”. I will buy that only if his work requires going on a humanitarian mission to a third world country. In every other case, I say it’s bullshit.

4.       He only meets you during the day, never in the evenings. Those are reserved for his girlfriend and/or other dates.

5.       He’s on Facebook, but he doesn’t befriend you. No big deal? Not really. Since nowadays we spend half of our lives online, the fact that he doesn’t want you in that half means that he probably has something to hide.

6.       He never has time for you during weekends. The only believable excuse is if he’s a chef of a night club owner. Otherwise – see #4.

7.       He tells you exactly what he wants to do next weekend, next week, where he wants to go and what party to attend, but somehow you are never part of these plans. In other words: if some of the plans won’t pan out, you will be there as a “gap filler”.

8.       He immediately jumps to the level of „we are so close”. “In a week, we’ll do this; in a month, we’ll go there; I need to remember this about you for the future”. And it’s only your first date. Anything that starts so rapidly is bound to end just as quickly.

9.       He lives with his parents. I know this is not a rule and there may be many reasons, but from my experience it’s not a good sign.

10.   He has no friends. Whenever a guy tells me he has no close buddies to go for a beer/chicks/shoot hoops with, I can see a red flag loom large.

And the biggest red flag of all comes when you go to sleep and you have that feeling inside you that tells you something just isn’t right. That alone should be enough to get rid of the guy from your life. If you need to devote too much thought to him, that probably means the relationship isn’t worth even a single one.