Your partner can’t secure you happiness.

I’ve been writing a lot about relationships recently because they occupy my mind. And they do because my transformation is complete and I became a self-aware person. That also means that my perception of everything changed. 

Being in a relationship has been on my mind since I was six. It’s been over 30 years already, and that’s three decades (that’s insane!). I always thought that I get my happiness once I meet „the right guy.” I associated being happy with being with someone. It’s not that I don’t want to be with a hot guy, over six two feet who has his shit together and is passionate about what he does, but I know he will never be my root of happiness. 

I know that because I am pleased now, and I am single. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I finally do what I always wanted to do. I work with people, I started my workshops (and am moving to more locations soon,) and it’s all about helping other people grow. That gives me high I’ve never experienced in my life before. I’ve never felt more fulfilled in my life. Do I want to stay single forever? No, but I realized that happiness is not related to your relationship status. 

If you’re not happy with yourself, with whom you’re becoming and with where you’re going, no relationship can help you feel differently. As I’ve been saying for almost four years now – focus on yourself and discover who you are first. Once you know that, and you start to follow your path, happiness will show up everywhere. You’d meet new people who will make you happy, new guys/women will be attracted to you, new opportunities will arrive. You attract what you are. If you’re confused and unhappy, you will attract a similar partner to you. That means that there will be two of you confused now. That’s why I encourage you to become a happy version of yourself first before you decide to be with someone. The other person can’t make you who you are not. 

It doesn’t also mean that a partner can’t start happiness in your life, of course, he/she can, but it may come with an expiration date. Yes, you will get some high at the beginning, it might even last for a few months or a few years, but then the reality will check on you again. Waiting for someone to make you happy, it’s a precarious way to go, and I don’t recommend it. It comes with the expectation that it’s their job, and once they stop, you feel disappointed and betrayed. And you end up in the worse place than you were before you guys met. The realization that even your partner can’t sustain your happiness will affect your well-being and might get you in depression – I’ve seen it many times already. 

I know it’s a cliche, but happiness is within you. Don’t look for it outside because you won’t find it. Don’t attach it to your partner, because once he/she is gone, you will be lost and in pain. No one should make you happy; it’s no one’s task; it’s your job to do it. And yes, you can be happy being single. That’s the biggest secret they have been keeping away from you.