“There is this one only for you out there.” I think it’s bullshit.

I wish all of us finally understood that this idea that there is this special one only for you, it’s just bullshit. There are seven billion people out there, so how can you think that there is “this one” only for you? 

The reason why I don’t like this concept at all is that it messes up with our lives and often makes us feel miserable. It puts us in this weird position where we believe that when we meet somebody “that’s it.” We are so sure that “that’s our only one” that we cling to this person no matter what. That means that we look for excuses for them, we agree on things we are often not happy about, and we think that if we lose him, we’re done. We believe that if that person disappears from our life, we won’t find anyone else. It’s so absurd!!! Of course, you will find someone! And I can assure you that it will most likely feel better than the one you had. 

I don’t want to encourage you to break up with your partner if you’re happy and chase “something new.” I want to encourage you to break up with someone who doesn’t make you happy. Don’t be afraid that there are no options out there; there are! Thousands of them!

I’ve been through many situations with men, and many times I wanted to cry because something didn’t work out with this particular man, and guess what? Soon after that, I had some new interest in my life (ask my friends.) And he was even more exciting than the one I was obsessing about. Trust me; if it’s for you, it won’t pass you. 

Your problem with letting go of this person is that you’re not open for something new. You prefer to obsess with “how great it was” (eee… it wasn’t, you’re not together anymore) instead of shaking things off and looking around. Every partner who enters your life teaches you something new, figure out what is the lesson to be learned from that experience, and move on. And please, I beg you, don’t tell me, “it’s difficult.” Your relationship didn’t work out, he/she didn’t make you happy; why you say it’s difficult to let it go? It doesn’t make sense. If it was excellent and if it was for you, it would last. You cry over “an idea” of what your relationship could have been, not over that partner. This idea had never become a reality. Admit that you are afraid of being alone. Don’t you agree that being lonely in a relationship is worse than being by yourself? 

I won’t even go into the subject of being in a relationship itself and your reasons for it. It terrifies me how people are afraid to be on their own. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE. Stop thinking that there is. I’m 37 now and have been single for almost my whole life and let me assure you – it’s fun. Yes, there are moments when I want to be with someone, that I crave intimacy, but most of the times, I just enjoy my life as it is. If you’re single, be single, take advantage of this life and have some fun. When you meet someone worthy you, your status will change, but as for now – appreciate what you have. Don’t think of being in a relationship all the time. If you do, you don’t take ownership of yourself and your life now. Build your fabulous single life and then bring someone in it, if you feel like it. But don’t have a miserable life and hope that someone will bring you happiness. It never happens, never happens. If you’re miserable by yourself, you will be unhappy in a relationship too. And when this relationship ends, you would have a severe problem to deal with. 

Yes, there is only one for you, and it’s you. The truth that they hide from you is that no one can give you as much happiness, as you can give to yourself. You are this “only one” for yourself. And if you feel like you want something more in your life, look around and find someone who makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to last forever, let it last as long as it brings you happiness. But once it stops, move on.