Four years in NY passed for me almost two months ago. Four years is a lot to live abroad. Every year I do a summary of what I’ve learned during yet another year. This past one was amazing, to be sure. It started with Tony Robbins’ workshop and all those changes that have been going through me. I have put a lot of work to change some of my habits, my mind, and my body. Meanwhile, there was life going on in NY.
Now, after these four years, I feel much more confident. I’m definitely not the same person I was in 2013 when I came here. I remember that I was thinking that someone would help me “to make it work” and now I know the only person who could help me was myself. In NY no one will do anything for you unless they see you try and work for it. I don’t want to write about how difficult it is to live abroad, without your family, without your language, friends and things that are familiar again, because I wrote about it on Just Like NY a few times already.
Now living here is easier for me. It doesn’t mean that life got easier – it just learned to navigate this life more efficiently. Things are as difficult as they were, but my attitude changed. Instead of obstacles, I see opportunities. I try to take advantage of my disadvantages. And I can see that I am making progress. It is a slow process, but the most important thing is that I’m moving forward. My most valuable lesson after these 4 years? Probably this: You want something? WORK FOR IT! WORK FUCKING HARD FOR IT. It’s so easy to be jealous of someone’s happiness, relationships, trips, saying “Oh, you’re lucky”. Fuck, no. I’m not “lucky”. I worked my ass off for what I have. The real question is: What are you willing to sacrifice…? People here often give up after a few months, because “it’s not how they imagined it”. Of course, it’s not. It’s way, way more difficult. That’s why I take big pride in what I’ve achieved, but also: in all my mistakes and failures along the way. That’s why I love this sentence: Don’t worry if you failed, failing means trying. I’m still not where I want to be, but I so see a bright future for myself. Not because my ego is huge (oh no, NY taught me to be humble), but because I know I will work for it. I can work hard and am able to sacrifice because I know there is no other way.
After these 4 years, I also am not able to stand people who complain (I wrote about it already) and those who think that they can impose their opinions about your life and your choices. If anyone says something like “You just got lucky” or “You’re just showing off” to me, or will think that my Just Like NY blog is here just to show you guys how amazing I’m doing, I swear, I will respond with: “Fuck you”. How comfortable it is to sit in front of your computer (or with your smartphone in your hand), complain that other people’s lives are better (and it’s usually not better, it’s just different) and judge people who made different choices that you did…? As I said a few posts before – different doesn’t mean better. And the fact something’s better for me doesn’t mean it has to be better for you. My website and my mission are here to prove to you guys that you can really have what you always dreamt of – but it will not come easy and will not happen overnight.
My biggest lesson, though, after the fourth year here, is being honest with myself. And this is what I would advise you – Take an honest look at yourself. When you stand in front of the mirror, are you really able to say: I did everything what I could to get what/where I wanted? If not, stop spending some much time on social media looking at other people’s lives. Instead, go after your life and after what you truly desire. It will set you free. Not only because you will get to the place that simply feels good, but you will get rid of the bitterness towards others and their choices. And this will make you just a better person.