In NY, You Look Either For a Job, an Apartment, or a Man

There is this saying that in NY, you either are looking for a partner, for an apartment or for a job. I couldn’t agree more. I know many people in NY already, but only a handful of them have all these things simultaneously. Even if you’re in a relationship, you’ll probably be looking for a job, or for an apartment every 1-2 years – there is no other way. This city is not suitable for stable living. Even though I love NY, I clearly see its faults. This crazy life is great for some time, maybe even for a decade, but I started thinking that it might just get you crazy, especially if you weren’t born here. You want to constantly improve, you want to improve everything: apart from the 3 things I mentioned before, your skills, your body, yourself. It’s difficult to finally see that you’re enough as you are (more about this soon) and that you actually don’t need to upgrade anything anymore. Because the truth is that you have to upgrade to stay in the loop. If you want to keep up, you have to constantly reinvent yourself. You should want to go on a higher level and if you don’t – why you’re even here…?

Anywhere else in the world it would be quite normal to be staying in the same apartment, doing the same job, with the same boyfriend for a few years… but all you’d get here after mentioning something like that are polite nods. People here will be surprised that you actually are fine with something long-term. This city is built for a temporary action, it’s made of everyday achievements. If you’re asked: “What’s new?” and you’d say “The same thing”, you might get weird looks, or a label “Boring” or “Loser”. That’s why when people ask me how is NY, I always say: Amazing, which is true, but I will also add: “…and very difficult to live in”. It is challenging to keep up with the pace. People watch NY movies or shows and they think that they can just come in here and “make it happen”. You come in and hustle. It might take you years to get where you want to get. I know people who are crying after a year or two, saying that “they can’t do it anymore”, that “their situation is not changing and they don’t want to fight for their dream anymore”, that their life was better back in their country. Because imagine: you have an army of a few million people here and most of them came here to achieve something big. How many of them will succeed? That’s why the apartments are changed so often – people are leaving and then coming back to try again. The jobs are changed – “maybe this job will get me closer to my goal”. And partners are changed like gloves (or relationships are don’t even started) – “maybe this one gives me relief, help, strong shoulder that I need to not to fall down”. 

And once you finally have an apartment, a job, and a partner… you would probably think of moving out from here soon, to get a “normal life” somewhere else.