Step 27 – What’s Your Definition of Success?
The answer to the question is not that obvious, if you think of it. Still, I bet that most of people associate success with money. When we’re saying: “He/She is successful” we mean that they make a lot of money. I used to think along the same lines, but over the time I understood it’s not about money at all. At least –not for me.
You can have all the money in the world and still be miserable. People usually think that as soon as they get more money, they’ll get happier. No. As soon as you get more money, you would want even more money. It will never be enough for you. Aiming for being wealthy will not get you anywhere, because there is simpl no such thing as “I’m wealthy enough, I don’t need more money”. You will always want more. Money is a powerful drug, so forget about the fact that it will be “enough” for you one day. I used to think that if I could only make more, I’d feel more satisfied. But now I know that as soon as I start making more, I’d probably move to a more expensive neighborhood, travel more often and… want more.
For me, being successful means something different now. It simply means living your life on your own terms. If you wake up and can make decisions based on what you want – that alone is a huge accomplishment. I know that some of you will say right away: “But life is not like that, you have to compromise and you not always can do what your heart is telling you to do. It’s not that simple!” (They will usually say that fast with their voice slightly risen.) Of course life is not like that, and of course, it’s not simple. That’s why I call it a success if you can live like that! That fact that “it’s not that easy”, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It requires some effort from you. You have to set your mind along different lines. You need to change the way you think of yourself, of who you used to be, who you can’t become, but most importantly – start saying “no” to the shit you really don’t like and don’t want to have in your life. Is that easy…? Hell, no! But it’s a process. And you are able to learn it.
Don’t just say: “Oh, I can’t, this is not who I am” because it’s bullshit. Say “no” once, and it won’t be easy, say “no” the second time and it won’t be easy either. However, say “no” for the third time and it suddenly will get easier. Not to mention the relief you will suddenly feel. It’s amazing how much better you start feeling the second you start rejecting things that are not for you. Sometimes things don’t feel right and you agree to them anyway, just because you don’t want to hurt someone, or you think that this is something you’re “supposed” to do. Create your own success by being more responsible for your needs and feelings. Don’t try to please other people, because at the end of the day everyone cares about themselves first and foremost. Everyone’s is watching their own back, so you should start doing just that, as well. Be successful in saying yes to your dreams; saying yes to things that make you smile, things that you truly desire. The more you do that, the more successful life you create for yourself. The life that has nothing to do with money.
There will be this one day when you get up and saying “No” will be so easy and obvious like that fact that you have to breathe to stay alive.