Set your Standards, Woman!

Wednesday was the International Women’s Day – our holiday – so I decided to just go to a coffee shop and think about all the women I know and what future I see for us. And the future I see ahead of us is bright. Under one condition, though – we have to take care of ourselves. My whole section Transform Yourself is dedicated mostly to women because I do think it’s us who need to transform ourselves first and foremost. And it’s not only about our bodies (even if it does start with bodies and will write about that next week), but it’s about our thinking. Our mindset has to change. I’m sorry ladies, but there is a lot of work we have to put out there. If you don’t understand that everything starts with you, nothing will change.

Remember – if you do the same things over and over again, don’t expect different results. I love women, but I often catch myself thinking “unlike a woman”. I don’t understand certain things other women talk or worry. I don’t understand why are they finding excuses for guys who don’t even have balls to call them or text them; why they get into a relationship with the first guy who stands in front of them and why they think that there’s only one way of living (having kids/husband or having a career), like there is nothing in the middle. I want us women to break free, I want us women to start demand what we’re worth and speak out loud of our needs.

But to do that, you can’t just “want it”. You have to set the standards for yourself that I already wrote about on Just Like NY. Say “No” to the things that really bother you, the things that make your stomach turn. You know this squeeze in your stomach know what I’m talking about: don’t ignore it. Don’t pretend that you didn’t feel it. Whenever you feel it, just say “no” – this is your chance to really change something in your life. You know when you get a lame offer or a lame guy. Come on, you know it! Don’t lie to yourself. Saying “no” to the things that are below your standards will be your first step towards making a change.

Just be honest with what you think and feel. We’re all so afraid that we’re not good enough, that it’s so easy to replace us and so easy to find someone “just like us”, that we lower our expectations. You know what? It’s not that easy to find someone like you, so embrace it and set your standards. Every time you say “no” to the things you don’t want in your life, you get closer to who you really are and what you really need. And it’s such a liberating feeling! It really sets you free. Say “Yes” to the things that you’re afraid of, that are out of your comfort zone, that scare you a bit. Leave your shell and show us who you really are. If there are more of us like that, we will be unstoppable. We can protest and go on the streets demanding our rights, but let’s look in the mirror first and ask ourselves what we actually did to make our change happen. And get to work.