Step 12 – Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future

I remember I heard this sentence two years ago and it blew my mind: Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. But how true it really is? This was the moment I realized just how important the question of who I surround myself with really is. A few days ago, I read something that goes even deeper: “You’re an average of 5 people you spend the most time with”. That means that subconsciously, or maybe consciously, we acquire some features from our friends and let them become a part of our identity. So, who do you want to be…? If you want to be just like your friends, that’s great – but what if they have traits you really don’t like…?

First, you have to ask yourself the most important question: how do you choose your friends? What’s the most important factor for you? I’m very loyal as a friend, so I look for people similar to me. I need to know that I can count on them. But what is almost equally important for me, is that they just have to want more. I’m not talking about more money or more fancy stuff. What I mean is that they are ambitious; they don’t settle for minor things and want to achieve more. It’s important for me because it keeps me motivated. I also don’t surround myself with miserable people. Why? Because I don’t want to. I don’t believe that life is difficult and painful and that the world is cruel. I don’t wake up in the morning sad and I don’t complain about everything. It’s not my cup of tea. Of course, there are days when we’re all sad. I get sad, too (whenever I find some stupid reason), but if it’s on a regular basis and I can’t be friends with someone who is unhappy every day. Because we just see things differently and I don’t think we’re on the same page. I don’t want to waste my energy constantly reassuring someone that “life is not that bad”. 

What I encourage you to do, is take a close look at your friends – who do you want to stay in your life and to whom it’s time to say “Goodbye”.  It’s not easy and it won’t ever be easy, but in order to grow, some cuts have to be done. If someone just drags you down and is constantly looking for excuses instead of taking action – simply distance yourself from them. If someone just talks shit about other people, all the while not seeing their own mistakes – let them go. If a person is your real friend, they will change, or rather – upgrade for you. If they don’t, it only means the decision was right. After a while, you’ll see just how big a relief it became for you, how your air cleared and how it suddenly got easier for you to breathe – and live.