American Boy

It’s already a few times that I heard the question: „OK, so what are American boys really like?” Over the two years of my living here, my opinion has changed significantly. At first, I was really open to them, since I only started to get to know them and I even befriended a couple of them. After a year, I decided that cultural differences are too large (the fact that I also listen to The Roots, go to Broadway and follow SNL doesn’t make us into cultural siblings) and that I cannot picture a relationship with an American. After my second year, Americans have rejoined the game for me, since I decided that men themselves are such different species than women, that it doesn’t really matter where are they from – the multitude of differences between me and them will still remain vast.

An American twentysomething fresh out of college, pretty much has his entire career planned out – he proceeds towards his goal step by step. Most of the guys here work through their twenties and enter their thirties fairly certain of their life path. Still, despite that “professional maturity”, I can’t help but feel that the second you start discussing private stuff with a guy here, talking to a 30-year-old feels like talking to a 20-year-old, talking to a 20-year-old (which I don’t do often) feels like talking to a teenager. Guys over here cherish their so-called bromance (regular meetings with pals in bars, filled with talk of nothing important as they down incredible amounts of beer) as if it were some kind of rare plant. I think guys are maturing emotionally much later over here; sometimes I feel like they don’t want to grow up at all. 

I just realized that if I really want to date an American, I would have to go on a date with a 40-year-old, for it’s really a waste of time to date a guy under 40 here (note: over here, most of the 40-something guys look great and don’t have pouches). Polish guys reading this must be really happy now: “Ha! We’re better than Americans!”. Well, you are not, my dears. You may reach emotional maturity earlier (not all of you, though, which I have proofs for), but in terms of your lack of self-confidence and your issues you project onto your women, you are way behind guys from here and guys from other countries I meet here. Your issues are the very reason why me and most of my single friends find it difficult to imagine dating you. We’re tired with constantly reminding you how great you are, which is why we started to explore other, more confident groups. Such as the American boys.