, category: It's all about sex
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner from the same country (with a shared skin color) being a guarantee of your relationship being successful. Were this twisted theory true, how come we’ve got so many divorces between compatriots…? Guys, you get each other, you watched the same movies when you were kids, you know the same jokes, speak the same language. So… why didn’t it work out for you? The theory says you should be fine. But the problem is that this theory itself doesn’t make much sense.
When I moved to NY, I saw this endless ocean of possibilities in men. I was just amazed. And decided to take advantage of that. People asked me why I was single and I looked at them thinking: “Are you crazy? How am I supposed to cut myself off from THAT?” So I experimented. I met up with guys from United States, Jamaica, Mexico, Lebanon, Italy, Dominican Republic, Israel. I was just curious. I grew up in a country where there is only one skin color and one mentality (with a few exceptions), so of course I got excited! I don’t regret a single encounter I had. And yes: we are all different, but what I also discovered along the way was that that’s the best part about it. Why? Because there is so much to learn. I find it fascinating when a man tells me things about his culture that I wasn’t even aware of. He grew up differently, ate different cuisine, shared different rituals, experienced different religion or spiritual life, different household. And I find it amazing. I find it fascinating and would love to have a partner from a different culture. I’m not saying that I would say “No” to a Polish guy just because he’s Polish (if he gets me — why not), but I feel my life would be more interesting with someone with a different point of view.
Cultural differences might be a problem, of course, but so can be thousands other things. His drinking or drug problem, his job, gambling, his ego, his fears, his childhood, his priorities. None of those things has anything to do with his country of origin. That has a lot to do with life itself and with his approach to it.
If you don’t communicate what you need, what you love and how you want to be loved — then shared cultural traditions won’t help you. Neither will a shared language. You might meet a guy from an exotic island you never heard of before who gets you more than a guy raised in the same town as you. Love and understanding don’t have a country of origin. They just come when you’re open. So be more open. I recently learned that I have no idea what I really want. What I thought I wanted, was not necessarily what I needed. I’m still not quite sure what I need, but I stopped saying that with such a certainty about what I want. I know I want to be loved for who I am. This is all I know. And I’m damn sure that it would have nothing to do with the language, skin color, religion or country. And it will have everything to do with me and my partner’s willingness to listen and to understand each other.