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NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs To… Find the Frog That Rises to Your Standards
I’ve had a few men in my life so far, and they always disappeared at some point (nowadays, I realize that they actually did me a favor). Once, I used to think it was the end of the world, but ...

You Have To Punch Back
There is a saying in NY: If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And there is a reason for that. I always say that a relationship with this city is like a relationship with an abusive boy...

Why Does Time Have Value
I recently noticed that I’m able to guess how long a person have lived in NYC. It’s not that I know the exact number of years, but I can recognize if someone has been living here for jus...

Wait For the Understanding Nod
I recently chatted on Instagram with a guy (we haven’t met in real life, he just saw my photos on social media) and he said this thing, and I quote: “How come you’re still single? ...

Step 63 - It’s All About Priorities
I know a guy in NY who doesn’t like to spend money on a cup of coffee. He doesn’t understand why anyone would spend $6 on a cup of coffee when you can pay $15 for a whole bag. But at the...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number One
This is a continuation of my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “The Top Five Regrets of Dying,” this being the last one. I wrote about Regret Numbers Five, Four, Three and Two here. Regr...

Love is Born
I watched “A Star is born” recently and can’t stop thinking about this movie.  It’s a story that has been told in Hollywood many times already: that of a seasoned mus...

Just Like NY on UrbanCreativiti-tea.com!
I'm happy to have a guest apperance on Urban Creativi-tea! Thank you for having me! It's an honor!  If you're looking for any (fashion) inspiration check them out http://urbancreativi-tea.c...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number Two
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware “The Top Five Regrets of Dying”, I wrote about regret number five here, four here and three here. The second regret is - I wish I hadn’t...

You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs To… Find the Frog That Rises to Your Standards

added: 2018-11-27 , category: It's all about sex

I’ve had a few men in my life so far, and they always disappeared at some point (nowadays, I realize that they actually did me a favor). Once, I used to think it was the end of the world, but now I look at it all as a series of new beginnings… for myself. With this post, I want to let you know that there is a world after the guy is gone. And it’s actually a much better world. Why? Because it is a world in which you know more and you know better. And I’ve learned that every guy who came into my life gave me some kind of lesson. Some of them were there for a few months and some of them stayed there for only a short period of time (sometimes it was only a couple of hours).

 

Not every man enters your life to stay there. Most of them actually shouldn’t. They are there to teach you something. All the guys I went on dates with taught me something about… myself. Not about them, not about men in general: the lesson they all gave me concerned myself. Each of them showed me what makes me happy and what doesn’t. Some of them helped me to understand what doesn’t serve me and what’t not for me anymore. 


When I think of some guys in my life now, I just open my eyes very widely and ask myself: “How the hell I was even interested in that guy in the first place?”. All of them were there to help me shape my standards, though. Now I know I don’t want a party boy, I don’t want a guy who smokes, who drinks a lot (not to mention drugs; a puff of weed every other day doesn’t work for me, either). I know I can’t be with a cheap guy. I don’t want his money; it’s not about that. But I really don’t like it when he makes a big deal of spending money; I find it embarrassing). I love gentlemen. I like when a guy does what he said he would and when he’s reaching out for things he cares about. I can’t stand posers and those who think that money can buy them everything (once I met a very nice older guy with money, we talked three times at my work - not even flirting - and when he left NY, he called me at my work, saying that he’d buy me a ticket to Las Vegas to visit him in his apartment. I was speechless and just said: “I don’t think so”. I still wonder what I would have said had Leo offered me that very option…I think I would have said the same thing, but who knows…). 


 

The guy you’re dating is not always “the one for the rest of your life”, so when something doesn’t work out and you guys break up (or he simply loses his interest), don’t jump off the bridge. I know you think that “the game is over” for you, but it certainly is not. It’s over with this particular guy. Think what lesson should be learned there and stop crying. I know it’s difficult to believe that there is another guy out there, but trust me - there always is. And the new ones keep coming. I want a new guy in my life, too, so I did this exercise and maybe it will help you, too. I did it a couple of weeks ago during my meditation - I thanked all the guys who had been in my life and… I said goodbye to them. I didn’t say mean things to them, I don’t hate them - there is no reason to be angry at them, they just did me a favor (thank god they didn’t stay in my life for a longer time! And btw - don’t hold onto any anger towards your old relationship stories, it just doesn’t help you get over with that and it doesn’t help you meet someone new). I just thanked them for what they all brought into my life (even if they lied to me - because it was also a lesson) and I moved on. I opened a new chapter for myself. The past ways got old. I made room for something new. And I met two new interesting guys the following week. I don’t know how long they’re staying, but if they’re planning on staying in my life, I make sure they rise up to my standards.  And my standards are not about what they can give me, but how they treat me. Because your standards should be about how you want to be treated and how want your man to make you feel. I know it now, but I had to kiss many frogs in order to get here. And I don’t even want a prince now (I’m done with princes, too). I’m fine with a frog, but it has to treat me the way I deserve. 

 


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