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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?

added: 2018-07-06 , category: It's all about sex

 

There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “What not to do before a date” and “How to find out if he/she is the one.” There are many myths about dating that have persisted for years now and we all believe in them. “If he likes you, he will text you first,” “You shouldn’t text him first after the date,” “You should have sex on the third date, not earlier, because he might think you’re a whore,” Don’t respond to his text message right away, wait a few hours, make him wonder.” I swear – this is all crap.

What I’ve recently noticed is that you should definitely avoid listening to outside advice instead of your own intuitionI’m back on dating scene (after a long period of not caring) and I have one piece of advice for you – do what feels right to you. If you want to text him first – do it; if you want to sleep with him – do it; if you want to ask him out – do it. Why do I think this is the only right way? Because I believe that the most valuable thing in the world you have is time. And why waste it on waiting? I made that mistake recently – I waited a few weeks (and let my mind become occupied with all kinds of different scenarios that I came up with, none of which made sense) and when I finally couldn’t stand it anymore, I just texted the guy, and five minutes later we had a date. Did it matter who texted whom when we met? No, it didn’t; not for me. Will there be the second date? I don’t know, but if not, it wouldn’t be because I texted him first. And if that was the case – it only means the guy is not for me. It’s 2018; men have power and women have power. Let’s use it the way we want to. Does it really matter who texts whom? I don’t think so. I know that there is this theory that a guy should text a girl first, because “he’s a hunter” and he needs to feel like he “fights for the woman,” but let me tell you one thing – if a woman has balls to text you, it only means that there will be plenty of times to prove to her that you’re a strong man, because she will not make it easy for you, that’s for sureThis type of womausually knows what she wants and who she wantto be with, so you still have to deliver. The mere fact that you’re there is not enough for her. Since she made that first step, she expects something really special, and if that doesn’t happen, she will just simply move on. To the real hunter.


I believe that there are no rules when it comes to dating and sex. They say, “don’t have sex on a first date, because he will never see you again.” Well, with a few we met up again, and with couple, we did not. And it’s the same with every aspect of dating. Just don’t wait. If he doesn’t respond to your text message, it just means he wasn’t interested anyway and you just saved yourself many days or weeks. If he doesn’t want to see you after you had sex – it’s not about the sex, he didn’t want to have anything more regardless of the way the date ended up. There should be only one rule in dating – just be yourself. You want to ask certain questions – ask; you want to see him again – let him know; you want to invite him somewhere – just do it. And if you don’t want to do any of these things – don’t do them. It’s fine. Make yourself happy first and do things that feel natural to you. And don’t do anything that you “think you should do.” Only you know what’s the right way. And one more thing - remember that there is always (ALWAYS!) another fish in the sea. So don’t waste your time on the one who seems like he’s drowning instead of finding his way against the current.



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