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Why Does Time Have Value
I recently noticed that I’m able to guess how long a person have lived in NYC. It’s not that I know the exact number of years, but I can recognize if someone has been living here for jus...

Wait For the Understanding Nod
I recently chatted on Instagram with a guy (we haven’t met in real life, he just saw my photos on social media) and he said this thing, and I quote: “How come you’re still single? ...

Step 63 - It’s All About Priorities
I know a guy in NY who doesn’t like to spend money on a cup of coffee. He doesn’t understand why anyone would spend $6 on a cup of coffee when you can pay $15 for a whole bag. But at the...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number One
This is a continuation of my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “The Top Five Regrets of Dying,” this being the last one. I wrote about Regret Numbers Five, Four, Three and Two here. Regr...

Love is Born
I watched “A Star is born” recently and can’t stop thinking about this movie.  It’s a story that has been told in Hollywood many times already: that of a seasoned mus...

Just Like NY on UrbanCreativiti-tea.com!
I'm happy to have a guest apperance on Urban Creativi-tea! Thank you for having me! It's an honor!  If you're looking for any (fashion) inspiration check them out http://urbancreativi-tea.c...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number Two
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware “The Top Five Regrets of Dying”, I wrote about regret number five here, four here and three here. The second regret is - I wish I hadn’t...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Step 62 - Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

Where is love?

added: 2018-06-14 , category: It's all about sex


Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can’t just go and look for it, you think), but I’ve noticed that it’s a bit less complicated than I’ve always assumed. 



First of all – I don’t believe in this crap that “there is only one person for you.” No, there is not. Don’t believe in it. Because when you start thinking this way, you will close off your mind in a bubble and wait only for this ONE imaginary guy. I said imaginary, because when you believe that your options are limited, you start creating this myth in your head of what he’s supposed to be like. And I’m pretty sure that’s a dead end. The chances of you meeting a guy like that are probably around 1%. 



So how many guys are out there for you? I think that there are plenty of them, and that you meet them on a regular basis, every day. But if what I just said is true, then why are there so many single people, and why are we constantly looking for love instead of just taking it in, since it’s out there? I believe this happens for a few reasons. 


One of them I mentioned before – we just create a fantasy that we start to believe in, and we don’t even notice who’s around us. If someone doesn’t fit our image, we just simply reject them. (I’m speaking from my own experience; many years of experience, which spans decades now.) 


Sometimes, you’re just not ready. I had a year like that (a year or two ago) that I just wasn’t ready – I knew my mind was occupied with many other things and I’m wasn’t able to focus on another person. I knew I wasn’t able to give anything. There was no space in my head - not to mention my heart - for a guy, and I was honest about it. I didn’t even bother to think about them.


The other reason - and it’s my recent discovery - is that we want love, but we either don’t want to admit it or we are not truly open to it. What do I mean by that? We won’t say out loud – “I want love.” We might say, “I want to start dating” or even “I’m ready for a boyfriend,” but we rarely say this pretty vulnerable sentence: “I just want love in my life.” And I believe it takes a lot of courage to admit that this is something that’s missing in your life (especially given that we live in the era of online dating, where random sex is a usual, daily habit and love has suddenly become a shameful thing). But once you do it, you’ll feel a huge burden lifted from your shoulders. You’ll feel lighter and more true to yourself. (I’ve just experienced this amazing feeling.) 


And sometimes we’re not truly open to love, even if we say we are. We’re open only to love that we’ve imagined in our head. Again – a bubble that we’ve created (and again – my own example). Two years ago, I made a list of ten traits I want my future guy to have. One of them was “open minded,” and I just realized (two weeks ago) that I wasn’t open minded myself. I wanted a guy, but then I also wanted him to have a “certain look,” a “certain nationality,” “certain goals,” etc. Was that fair, given that I expected him to be open minded? Not really. I think we have to finally be honest with ourselves. If you feel lonely and want love in your life – just admit it. You don’t have to do a separate Facebook post about it; just admit it to yourself. And if you have certain expectations towards a guy, make sure you can deliver on them, too. But most importantly – be just open. Love is really everywhere. Sometimes it doesn’t need “luck,” it just needs you to pay attentionLook around, and don’t judge guys too quickly. You wouldn’t like to be judged yourself, right? So don’t make that mistake with someone whose story you haven’t gotten to know yet.

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