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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?

added: 2018-05-19 , category: It's all about sex

 

I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by their side. I understand feminism and female empowerment. I’m in and I am against the patriarchy and the idea that women belong only in the kitchen (unless that’s where she wants to be), but I’ve noticed women are confused as to who they want to be with now. From my observation, and I really hope I’m wrong, some women (I hope it’s only some) are looking for…a “girlfriend” in their partner. 

 


 

What does that mean? They do all the stuff with their partner that they used to do with a girlfriend. I was part of a Facebook group for women (I had to leave that group) and one of the ladies posted a photo of her husband doing her pedicure. I was shocked, but I was even more shocked (and terrified) that other women (almost all of them) were envious of it. My question is: ladies, do you really want your guy to do your nails? Why? There are salons out there, with people who do that professionally. I would be happier if my guy gave me money to do that.  If it’s a fetish and it turns your guy on, go for it. But if it’s just something you want him to do….I just don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for men showing their feminine side. They shouldn’t only be full of testosterone and masculinity. Men are constantly being told that they have to be “tough” (guys, you don’t have to be) and that’s wrong, but don’t express it by doing a pedicure. I’m really curious what men think about this. The men I know (let’s put aside my gay guys) would not do it. I asked a few of them and they’re terrified (I felt relieved by this)

 

I’m trying to understand it – what is it, is it building intimacy? How? I understand massage (of every part of the body), touching, undressing, but I can’t wrap my head around this. 

 


 

It’s like I never could understand why women take their guys shopping. Then I see those guys half dead sitting on a couch (I guess it’s a special couch for unhappy men) praying for this nightmare to end. Not to mention when a woman gives her bag to her guy to carry and then he’s following her around like a shadow with her sparkling bag in his hand. Dude, please, I beg you, put it down. Don’t do it. If she can’t carry it, maybe she shouldn’t have taken it with her in the first place. 

 


 

I see a lot of couples now in which the guy is dominated by the woman. I’m all for women power and I am a strong woman myself (yes, I’m aware of that), but I would never want to dominate my man. If I dominated him, it would mean he shouldn’t be my partner. Period. I had this conversation with one of my customers recently. He said to me, after a few minutes of observations: “Did you notice that those guys are more feminine than their ladies?” And I wanted to disagree, but I couldn’t.

 


Women have their voice – and that’s great! I will be always rooting for that. But suddenly it seems that guys have lost theirs. What happened? Doing your woman’s nails or carrying her bag doesn’t make you a great partner. Guys, you don’t have to do those things to make your lady happy or more feminine. Believe me, there are other ways (starting in the bedroom) to prove to your woman that you are the man that she wants. Please guys, find your voice, because I don’t want to live in a world where men become girlfriends. We have our gays for that. And I ask you, ladies, get your shit together and let your mabe a man. And find yourself a girlfriend.



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