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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Should I Dump Him?

added: 2018-05-11 , category: It's all about sex

I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in speedos who were swimming). They were talking about their relationships, and both of them were really unhappy. One said that she just discovered that everything in her relationship is just one big lie (she caught him lying about a job promotion among other things).  The other one said that her relationship just doesn’t make her happy – apparently he hasn’t been working for a while and she’s been paying for everything (she just met with a friend and gave her her boyfriend’s resume, because this friend “knows people,” apparently). She also mentioned that she just doesn’t believe what he says about his past marriage, and the reasons it ended. Both have been in these relationships for at least four years. I really was tempted to start talking to them and ask them one simple question – why are you holding on to something that makes you so unhappy? But I didn’t, because it wasn’t my business. They were both smart and very reasonable, and the funny part is that they both advised each other to end the relationship (and there weren’t many differences between their situations). I decided to shut up, because I didn’t know the whole story and also because they knew what was going on a lot better than I did. They were both very clear about their relationships, and they knew what wasn’t working. They didn’t need my interjection: “Hey, you should break up.” They knew that. So why are we 30-something women - in 2018, with great educations - still stuck in relationships that don’t even make sense? The answer might be as simple as – because we’re afraid to be alone, which is scary, or we’re just afraid that “we won’t find anyone else,” which is equally scary. Or maybe we’re “waiting for him to change” (my favorite expression). There was this moment during this conversation when one woman said something about her guy and the other asked her, “Did you tell him that?” and she responded, “No”. A few minutes later the second one said something about her guy and the other one asked her the same question, and she also responded, “No”. So now it’s my question: “Why didn’t you tell him that?” And if you answer, “There’s just no point, he won’t listen,” why would you even bother staying with this guy? For me, this whole thing makes no sense. He makes you miserable, you talk about it, and if nothing changes you have to decide what should be your next step. What’s so difficult about that? How do you want him to change if you don’t speak up?
I swear, this completely makes no sense. Does it? Or maybe I’ve gotten stupid. No, I’m kidding, I haven’t. I’ve written about it on Just Like NY several times already, but I will write it one more time – work on yourself so you know how worthy you are. If you truly love yourself and take care of yourself, you won’t let a situation like that happen. Why? Because your love for yourself will be so strong that you won’t let anyone hurt the person you love. That’s you, yourself. You won’t suffer to make someone else happy, and you won’t agree to things that don’t serve you.  It won’t even be an option. When I used to say to my friends that I would never agree to certain things, they always responded, “You will see, that’s easy to say.” No, it’s easy to say no, people. In my mind, it’s really simple. My closest friends now know for certain that I would never do anything that is against my will and my heart. There is no need to settle for something less than what you truly want. There are thousands of guys out there, and a vast majority of them are good and will love you the way you are and want to build a real relationship with you. A relationship based on pretending is not real. And it’s definitely not worth debating about. There is nothing to talk about. It’s just a waste of your time, and what’s worse, your life. You’re afraid that you’ll end up alone? Oh come on, you’re smarter than that. 



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