Twitter Facebook Instagram Szukaj Newsletter Kontakt Wersja polska

About me | My projects | My products | Contact

Contact with me
justlikeny@gmail.com

Zapisz się do newslettera





Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

Should I Dump Him?

added: 2018-05-11 , category: It's all about sex

I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in speedos who were swimming). They were talking about their relationships, and both of them were really unhappy. One said that she just discovered that everything in her relationship is just one big lie (she caught him lying about a job promotion among other things).  The other one said that her relationship just doesn’t make her happy – apparently he hasn’t been working for a while and she’s been paying for everything (she just met with a friend and gave her her boyfriend’s resume, because this friend “knows people,” apparently). She also mentioned that she just doesn’t believe what he says about his past marriage, and the reasons it ended. Both have been in these relationships for at least four years. I really was tempted to start talking to them and ask them one simple question – why are you holding on to something that makes you so unhappy? But I didn’t, because it wasn’t my business. They were both smart and very reasonable, and the funny part is that they both advised each other to end the relationship (and there weren’t many differences between their situations). I decided to shut up, because I didn’t know the whole story and also because they knew what was going on a lot better than I did. They were both very clear about their relationships, and they knew what wasn’t working. They didn’t need my interjection: “Hey, you should break up.” They knew that. So why are we 30-something women - in 2018, with great educations - still stuck in relationships that don’t even make sense? The answer might be as simple as – because we’re afraid to be alone, which is scary, or we’re just afraid that “we won’t find anyone else,” which is equally scary. Or maybe we’re “waiting for him to change” (my favorite expression). There was this moment during this conversation when one woman said something about her guy and the other asked her, “Did you tell him that?” and she responded, “No”. A few minutes later the second one said something about her guy and the other one asked her the same question, and she also responded, “No”. So now it’s my question: “Why didn’t you tell him that?” And if you answer, “There’s just no point, he won’t listen,” why would you even bother staying with this guy? For me, this whole thing makes no sense. He makes you miserable, you talk about it, and if nothing changes you have to decide what should be your next step. What’s so difficult about that? How do you want him to change if you don’t speak up?
I swear, this completely makes no sense. Does it? Or maybe I’ve gotten stupid. No, I’m kidding, I haven’t. I’ve written about it on Just Like NY several times already, but I will write it one more time – work on yourself so you know how worthy you are. If you truly love yourself and take care of yourself, you won’t let a situation like that happen. Why? Because your love for yourself will be so strong that you won’t let anyone hurt the person you love. That’s you, yourself. You won’t suffer to make someone else happy, and you won’t agree to things that don’t serve you.  It won’t even be an option. When I used to say to my friends that I would never agree to certain things, they always responded, “You will see, that’s easy to say.” No, it’s easy to say no, people. In my mind, it’s really simple. My closest friends now know for certain that I would never do anything that is against my will and my heart. There is no need to settle for something less than what you truly want. There are thousands of guys out there, and a vast majority of them are good and will love you the way you are and want to build a real relationship with you. A relationship based on pretending is not real. And it’s definitely not worth debating about. There is nothing to talk about. It’s just a waste of your time, and what’s worse, your life. You’re afraid that you’ll end up alone? Oh come on, you’re smarter than that. 



Your comments

comments powered by Disqus