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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Men and Sex

added: 2018-02-22 , category: It's all about sex

What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (comparing to my gay friends, that is), but I had few encounters and it’s always the same pattern. They want you, because “you’re sexy”, you have this sexual tension that indicates that “you would know what to do”. In other words – they feel that you’re experienced. What they do next, when they finally get your number, they ask you in text messages what do you like (in bed). They want you to describe it, they will text you back how much they liked it and what they would do to you – that means – they will text you exactly what you want to hear and ask you if you like it (it happens with all of them). They get you excited. They make you think that it will be all about you, that you’re the most important and they really want you to “feel good”. Yeah, right…

Here is my question: what’s all of this? What’s the point of this game? Because then another pattern happens. You meet with a guy and… it’s rarely about you. Some of them will even try, especially the first time you meet, to deliver what they promised, but the problem is that… they can’t wait to make themselves happy. I heard that it’s very important for guys to satisfy women, that they do feel “less of a man” if they don’t do it, but what I also noticed is that satisfying themselves is sometimes more important for them. But they all ask at the end: Did you finish…? And are surprised if the answer is: “Not really”. They’re all surprised. So you didn’t even notice? I do get it, we both want to be satisfied, of course! But why do they brag about being able to do it if they don’t even know how to deliver… or if they are not even planning on delivering…? That’s one thing.

The second thing is that they don’t really want to hear that you ever had sex before. In other words – they want a virgin. A virgin that happens to be experienced, to be specific. And it doesn’t occur to them that it’s just impossible. What’s this whole thing about not having sex partner before? Is your ego aching? So… what is it exactly that you want? I don’t mind that a guy I met up with had other girls before. In fact, I’m happy he had them, because he’ll be more experienced. Shouldn’t you be happy that the girl you’re about to have sex with will know what to do? It’s so weird. We can’t all pretend that “we’ve never done it” or “we’re fine with whatever comes”. No, we want hot stuff and we want someone who will not only get us excited, but also will be able to deliver. That’s the truth. No one truly wants to have sex with a virgin. It sounds great in theory, but the practical part of it’s not that exciting at all. If you wanted sex with a virgin, you wouldn’t watch all the porn you do, guys.

Women love sex as much as men do (I wrote about it on Just Like NY already) and we want to experience great things, too. We won’t wait and save ourselves for “the one”, because it might take a while for “the one” to show up. So we try what comes our way – sometimes for fun, sometimes hoping for something more, but guys – most of the time we expect more than you provide. If you say you focus on us, you better do. I’m not saying that every guy are guilty of the pattern I described in this post, but the vast majority is. And no, we’re not OK with just “you wanted us and we just had sex”. We’re also disappointed and will think twice about seeing you again (maybe *that’s* why she didn’t text you, huh?).  And yes, we will talk about your performance if we feel like it – the same way you do with your buddies. And you don’t always get the highest scores, so be aware of that. Women do talk the same language you guys do. We want more, we want something that we can smile about every time we think about it. Challenge accepted…?



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