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“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number Two
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware “The Top Five Regrets of Dying”, I wrote about regret number five here, four here and three here. The second regret is - I wish I hadn’t w...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman

added: 2018-01-03 , category: It's all about sex

One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things that make a man into a gentleman: 1.Opening the door for you; 2.Saving the last bite for you; 3. Spending time with your family; 4. Suffering through a girly movie; 5. Sending flowers; 6. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk; 7. Kissing you on the forehead; 8. Filling up your gas tank; 9. Putting your jacket on.

That’s all amazing. I value these features (but we could easily skip No. 4, since I would be suffering through a girly movie too; and No. 6, since I wouldn’t even notice that), but there are things I value more. I love gentlemen; I like it when a man is trying to be a knight on a white horse (btw, my friends went to an Indian wedding recently and a groom was riding on an actual white horse) and I do melt when a guy opens door for me (not to mention kissing my forehead…oh), but what I care more about than these gestures are how he treats me on regular basis.

I pay attention to how he speaks to me, if he listens, if he treats me like his partner, if he sees who I really am. Does he want to spend time with me or just finds time when he wants to have sex? Does he value my opinion? Does he give me the same attention I give him? What does he do when he comes home? If he just sits in front of TV and watches some stupid things waiting for me to cook for him? (I can’t even imagine that!). Does he put an extra effort to spend time with me or to organize something that we both can enjoy? Does he treat me with respect?

And most importantly – what does he do when I have a problem? I’m not talking about PMS problems (I can’t handle them myself, so I don’t even expect him to know what to do); I’m talking about emergency, a situation that didn’t go the way we expected it go. Where is his chivalry then…? Is he still kissing me on the forehead? I mean, saving the last bite for me is great, but if he can’t handle an emergency situation without putting me down at the same time, he is not a true gentleman.

A true gentleman is a guy who would always make you feel like a real woman. What does it mean…? Woman needs to feel appreciated, respected and… safe. We need to know that the guy is there for us. That even when we don’t look our best (and we often feel like we don’t), when we fuck something up, he will give us the support we need, without judgment, without yelling at us or showing us “who is the man” (a sure sign of lacking self confidence level hard). We don’t need that. I don’t care if you did send me flowers or helped me put on my jacket yesterday – that is, not if you’re an asshole to me today.

Life is like an ocean that I love and I need someone who will become a harbor – not a storm that causes the waves. We have enough of them every day, with our job, our dreams or goals. The gentleman we need is a guy who doesn’t need to prove his value and his worth all the time. Guys, just do what you have to do – as long as we know that we can always count on you.



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