Just like NY



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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman

added: 2018-01-03 , category: It's all about sex

One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things that make a man into a gentleman: 1.Opening the door for you; 2.Saving the last bite for you; 3. Spending time with your family; 4. Suffering through a girly movie; 5. Sending flowers; 6. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk; 7. Kissing you on the forehead; 8. Filling up your gas tank; 9. Putting your jacket on.

That’s all amazing. I value these features (but we could easily skip No. 4, since I would be suffering through a girly movie too; and No. 6, since I wouldn’t even notice that), but there are things I value more. I love gentlemen; I like it when a man is trying to be a knight on a white horse (btw, my friends went to an Indian wedding recently and a groom was riding on an actual white horse) and I do melt when a guy opens door for me (not to mention kissing my forehead…oh), but what I care more about than these gestures are how he treats me on regular basis.

I pay attention to how he speaks to me, if he listens, if he treats me like his partner, if he sees who I really am. Does he want to spend time with me or just finds time when he wants to have sex? Does he value my opinion? Does he give me the same attention I give him? What does he do when he comes home? If he just sits in front of TV and watches some stupid things waiting for me to cook for him? (I can’t even imagine that!). Does he put an extra effort to spend time with me or to organize something that we both can enjoy? Does he treat me with respect?

And most importantly – what does he do when I have a problem? I’m not talking about PMS problems (I can’t handle them myself, so I don’t even expect him to know what to do); I’m talking about emergency, a situation that didn’t go the way we expected it go. Where is his chivalry then…? Is he still kissing me on the forehead? I mean, saving the last bite for me is great, but if he can’t handle an emergency situation without putting me down at the same time, he is not a true gentleman.

A true gentleman is a guy who would always make you feel like a real woman. What does it mean…? Woman needs to feel appreciated, respected and… safe. We need to know that the guy is there for us. That even when we don’t look our best (and we often feel like we don’t), when we fuck something up, he will give us the support we need, without judgment, without yelling at us or showing us “who is the man” (a sure sign of lacking self confidence level hard). We don’t need that. I don’t care if you did send me flowers or helped me put on my jacket yesterday – that is, not if you’re an asshole to me today.

Life is like an ocean that I love and I need someone who will become a harbor – not a storm that causes the waves. We have enough of them every day, with our job, our dreams or goals. The gentleman we need is a guy who doesn’t need to prove his value and his worth all the time. Guys, just do what you have to do – as long as we know that we can always count on you.



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