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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore

added: 2017-11-18 , category: It's all about sex

I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It didn’t change in men, it changed in me. I still like men (ohsome of them are just gorgeous - physically, of course) but I stopped glorifying them like I used to. I think that most women are guilty of that. We somehow think that if we’re not with someone that there is something wrong with us, and we put our life on hold until we meet “him.” Every action we take goes toward “meeting a guy,” every dream revolves around “when we’re together.” Think about itWhy do you think your life is incomplete without a guyWhat do you think he’ll give you that you don’t have


Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that being with a great man who understands you can have great value in your life. I wouldn’t mind being with someone who gets me, who truly understands who I am and what am going for. It would be amazing to meet someone like that!

But I wouldn’t overestimate the amazingness of men in generalYes, I like them, I desire them and like talking to them. It’s great to get a different point of view (we really do think differently), plus they usually have these cool interests (like all tech stufffixing bikes or building something in their garagethat I have no idea aboutThat’s why I have and have always had so many male friends. I think I do understand themor at least I really try to. But there is also another side of men that has made me stopped glorifying them


For one thing, there’s the fact that sometimes their relationship status doesn’t mean that much to themI’m not on any online dating (read: sex) apps, but I have been on two occasions. I spent short period of time on them, but it was long enough to meet married guys who were looking for sex. Friends of mine had similar experiences. met guys whose relationship status is “taken,” yet they’re still scrolling through Tinder or having a drink with a woman who is not their partner. I see guys who have dates three times a weekeach time with a different woman, and they are in a relationship at the same time! I’ve been grabbed and kissed by a married man in a bar (who invited me to his friend’s nearby apartment five minutes before that). I’ve encountered guys in relationships and engaged men who wanted to touch me and flirt with me, and I knew it would only take a “yes” from me to have sex. For the record, single guys hit on me as well, but I’ve mentioned the ones in relationships because it is so common that it blows my mind. And it’s not only in NY. My friend (a straight guywho is a bartender said to me the other day, “I listen to these guys, to what they’re talking about and I really feel sorry for you ladies.”


So because I see what guys are doing,  I stopped thinking that my life is even an inch worse because I’m single. The scary part is that I started thinking that it’s even betterBefore I hear the whole chorus of men (and womensaying that I don’t like men (oh, how I wish I didn’t) and that women are the same, let me tell you one thing – I haven’t met even one guy who thinks that his life is incomplete because he’s single. I’ve also never met a guy who’s afraid he won’t ever find anyonebecause men are pretty damn sure they will (and I believe them!) And yet all women are so scared that they’ll end up alone! Maybe that’s why I prefer younger guys – most of them are just not aware of this whole “game,” and it’s just so refreshing. Until someone shows them the rules, and then they will be lost, too.


What I’m trying to say, ladies, is that men are living their lives like there’s no tomorrow, and I would recommend that you do the same. (I’m talking to single girls, not married ones who want to cheat – I would never encourage cheating, and one of the reasons for that is that believe in karma.) STOP putting your life on hold just because you’re single at the moment. Live your life, take advantage of whatever there is out there (don’t go after married guys, though - they don’t even deserve it) and have fun. And most importantly, believe that your life is already complete, regardless of your relationship status. You make it complete. A man will just put that extra smile on your face. And your life will be still amazingeven if he’s gone.



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