Just like NY



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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore

added: 2017-11-18 , category: It's all about sex

I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It didn’t change in men, it changed in me. I still like men (ohsome of them are just gorgeous - physically, of course) but I stopped glorifying them like I used to. I think that most women are guilty of that. We somehow think that if we’re not with someone that there is something wrong with us, and we put our life on hold until we meet “him.” Every action we take goes toward “meeting a guy,” every dream revolves around “when we’re together.” Think about itWhy do you think your life is incomplete without a guyWhat do you think he’ll give you that you don’t have


Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that being with a great man who understands you can have great value in your life. I wouldn’t mind being with someone who gets me, who truly understands who I am and what am going for. It would be amazing to meet someone like that!

But I wouldn’t overestimate the amazingness of men in generalYes, I like them, I desire them and like talking to them. It’s great to get a different point of view (we really do think differently), plus they usually have these cool interests (like all tech stufffixing bikes or building something in their garagethat I have no idea aboutThat’s why I have and have always had so many male friends. I think I do understand themor at least I really try to. But there is also another side of men that has made me stopped glorifying them


For one thing, there’s the fact that sometimes their relationship status doesn’t mean that much to themI’m not on any online dating (read: sex) apps, but I have been on two occasions. I spent short period of time on them, but it was long enough to meet married guys who were looking for sex. Friends of mine had similar experiences. met guys whose relationship status is “taken,” yet they’re still scrolling through Tinder or having a drink with a woman who is not their partner. I see guys who have dates three times a weekeach time with a different woman, and they are in a relationship at the same time! I’ve been grabbed and kissed by a married man in a bar (who invited me to his friend’s nearby apartment five minutes before that). I’ve encountered guys in relationships and engaged men who wanted to touch me and flirt with me, and I knew it would only take a “yes” from me to have sex. For the record, single guys hit on me as well, but I’ve mentioned the ones in relationships because it is so common that it blows my mind. And it’s not only in NY. My friend (a straight guywho is a bartender said to me the other day, “I listen to these guys, to what they’re talking about and I really feel sorry for you ladies.”


So because I see what guys are doing,  I stopped thinking that my life is even an inch worse because I’m single. The scary part is that I started thinking that it’s even betterBefore I hear the whole chorus of men (and womensaying that I don’t like men (oh, how I wish I didn’t) and that women are the same, let me tell you one thing – I haven’t met even one guy who thinks that his life is incomplete because he’s single. I’ve also never met a guy who’s afraid he won’t ever find anyonebecause men are pretty damn sure they will (and I believe them!) And yet all women are so scared that they’ll end up alone! Maybe that’s why I prefer younger guys – most of them are just not aware of this whole “game,” and it’s just so refreshing. Until someone shows them the rules, and then they will be lost, too.


What I’m trying to say, ladies, is that men are living their lives like there’s no tomorrow, and I would recommend that you do the same. (I’m talking to single girls, not married ones who want to cheat – I would never encourage cheating, and one of the reasons for that is that believe in karma.) STOP putting your life on hold just because you’re single at the moment. Live your life, take advantage of whatever there is out there (don’t go after married guys, though - they don’t even deserve it) and have fun. And most importantly, believe that your life is already complete, regardless of your relationship status. You make it complete. A man will just put that extra smile on your face. And your life will be still amazingeven if he’s gone.



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