Twitter Facebook Instagram Szukaj Newsletter Kontakt Wersja polska

About me | My projects | My products | Contact

Contact with me
justlikeny@gmail.com

Zapisz się do newslettera





Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally ...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops? In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, sinc...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yorkers a lot....

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

How to Choose a Partner?
There is a problem with choosing the right guy. Namely: when do you know he is, in fact, right? What is the most important factor? Should you make a list and stick to it? Or is it better to go with...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

How About My Ego?

added: 2017-11-15 , category: It's all about sex

I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relationship advisor and he gives great tips when it comes to men. I’ve listened to Matthew many times, I resonate with him strongly and I still read his quotes. When you go on YouTube and type “relationships”, you would find more guys and women giving relationship advice. And that’s great. But because as soon as November 2017 arrived something exploded within me regarding all fields of my life, including the way I look at men, I also stopped thinking that I need any kind of advice anymore. And it’s not because I suddenly think that I know it all. I don’t, and probably no one does. It’s because I don’t want to wonder what’s “appropriate” and what isn’t anymore.

I look in the mirror and I think – here I am, this is what I look like, this is what I think, here are my opinions, here is my point of view on life. You like it? Great! I’m happy you’re on board. You don’t like it? I’m sorry, I will not change my opinion, because it bothers you. I won’t change my behavior to more „girlie” since it’s not who I am. I will just not simply change who I am in order for you to feel better about yourself.

The advice that is to be found out there sounds more or less like that: „Don’t show him you’re too confident, because he will be intimidated by you”, „Say compliments to him, he will feel more validated and  drawn towards you”, „Don’t tell him you make more money, he needs to feel like a man who provides, that might destroy his ego”, „Don’t be afraid to approach him first, he would most likely not approach you, because he is afraid of rejection”. What the hell is all that…? So I should pretend I’m shy (which I sometimes am, but let’s face it…), tell him compliments all the time (to not to lose him to another woman who tells him even more compliments!), pretend I make $300 a week or maybe $1 and pay my rent with my smile and ask him out to make his ego feel great. What am I – a 15-year-old?! I’m a woman and I need a man. And by “man”, I mean a guy who is not afraid to approach me – he is THE GUY, so he will just come up to me, like a normal human being and say hi; who doesn’t need to be validated all the time, because he knows his value; who has money (and even if he doesn’t have thousands on his account, he’s sure he will have it soon, or he knows he still brings a lot to the table) and most importantly – wants to have a woman who is confident herself and doesn’t need him to prove her value. Yes, this is a man of my dreams. And I believe that there are guys like that out there. I refuse to walk around on my toes being constantly afraid „if I made his ego strong enough”. How about my ego? I worked on myself very hard the past few years. I moved here by myself, am my own provider, ego builder and confidence architect . How about that? So why should I be so afraid who I truly am? I’m sorry, it took me a long time to build my own confidence, so I won’t let you to second-guess it. You’re afraid of strong, independent women? How about – instead of throwing the typical „feminism accusation” – step up for yourself? Maybe it’s not the woman who is a problem? Maybe it’s you who should just get your ass to work and start building your own confidence, instead of relying on women’s compliments towards your ego? Sounds like a plan? How about making it happen now?



Your comments

comments powered by Disqus