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The Most Annoying American Family
I must say, I’m so fed up with these fake images and fake lives that are all over social media now. And there is one family that makes me especially angry. You’ve p...

Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 52 - Don’t Assume (Or In Another Words, Don’t Judge)
We’re all guilty of it. We judge. And even if you say or think that you don’t, I have bad news for you – yes, you do. We all classify people based on our knowledge of the...

Stereotypes. Have Enough Class To Not Say Anything
I wrote about stereotypes already, but the longer I live here, the more I see that not much is changing in this matter. Living in NY will help you learn more about other cultures, but it doesn&rsq...

What’s My Health Plan For 2018?
I want to share with you my health plan for this year. I don’t know if it works out. I will be experimenting and see what would work for me – and what would be the results in December 20...

Americans’ Dirty Secret
It’s a very difficult topic, but since I really want to write about it, I’m now taking a risk. I’ve been living here for almost five years – and if I combined that period wit...

My Jobs in NY
I wrote about jobs in New York already – about how I believe that there is no job that you should be ashamed of. Let me tell you about my job experience here in a bit more detail. As soon as...

Why You Shouldn’t Fall In Love Too Quickly
I just watched Matthew Hussey’s new video (I wrote about Matthew already on Just Like NY) and I haven’t been watching any recently, but when I saw this title “Four Dangerous Reason...

Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How About My Ego?

added: 2017-11-15 , category: It's all about sex

I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relationship advisor and he gives great tips when it comes to men. I’ve listened to Matthew many times, I resonate with him strongly and I still read his quotes. When you go on YouTube and type “relationships”, you would find more guys and women giving relationship advice. And that’s great. But because as soon as November 2017 arrived something exploded within me regarding all fields of my life, including the way I look at men, I also stopped thinking that I need any kind of advice anymore. And it’s not because I suddenly think that I know it all. I don’t, and probably no one does. It’s because I don’t want to wonder what’s “appropriate” and what isn’t anymore.

I look in the mirror and I think – here I am, this is what I look like, this is what I think, here are my opinions, here is my point of view on life. You like it? Great! I’m happy you’re on board. You don’t like it? I’m sorry, I will not change my opinion, because it bothers you. I won’t change my behavior to more „girlie” since it’s not who I am. I will just not simply change who I am in order for you to feel better about yourself.

The advice that is to be found out there sounds more or less like that: „Don’t show him you’re too confident, because he will be intimidated by you”, „Say compliments to him, he will feel more validated and  drawn towards you”, „Don’t tell him you make more money, he needs to feel like a man who provides, that might destroy his ego”, „Don’t be afraid to approach him first, he would most likely not approach you, because he is afraid of rejection”. What the hell is all that…? So I should pretend I’m shy (which I sometimes am, but let’s face it…), tell him compliments all the time (to not to lose him to another woman who tells him even more compliments!), pretend I make $300 a week or maybe $1 and pay my rent with my smile and ask him out to make his ego feel great. What am I – a 15-year-old?! I’m a woman and I need a man. And by “man”, I mean a guy who is not afraid to approach me – he is THE GUY, so he will just come up to me, like a normal human being and say hi; who doesn’t need to be validated all the time, because he knows his value; who has money (and even if he doesn’t have thousands on his account, he’s sure he will have it soon, or he knows he still brings a lot to the table) and most importantly – wants to have a woman who is confident herself and doesn’t need him to prove her value. Yes, this is a man of my dreams. And I believe that there are guys like that out there. I refuse to walk around on my toes being constantly afraid „if I made his ego strong enough”. How about my ego? I worked on myself very hard the past few years. I moved here by myself, am my own provider, ego builder and confidence architect . How about that? So why should I be so afraid who I truly am? I’m sorry, it took me a long time to build my own confidence, so I won’t let you to second-guess it. You’re afraid of strong, independent women? How about – instead of throwing the typical „feminism accusation” – step up for yourself? Maybe it’s not the woman who is a problem? Maybe it’s you who should just get your ass to work and start building your own confidence, instead of relying on women’s compliments towards your ego? Sounds like a plan? How about making it happen now?



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