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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

The Bridges of Madison County - A Cautionary Tale

added: 2017-09-24 , category: It's all about sex

I’ve been coming back to old movies recently and watched one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Bridges of Madison County” with my favorite actress, Meryl Streep. I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that movie for a week. It’s about a photographer (Clint Eastwood) who gets an assignment for National Geographic to shoot some old bridges, and while he’s doing that he meets a married housewife whose husband and kids have left for fours days. The affair had to happen. What distinguishes that couple from any other couple that has an affair is  that they really are the missing element in each other’s lives. They fall in love and she struggles with the decision of whether she should leave her life and walk away with him. The movie hit me, because even though I have never been in a  situation like that (obviously), I somehow felt the pain of that decision. What do you do? You have a loving husband who is a good father, but you sacrificed yourself and don’t remember who you are anymore. Then you meet a guy who is your soulmate, who’d be able to help you to spread your wings and finally be your true self, but you have a family that you care about. What should you do?


For me, this movie is a warning. When you get yourself into a relationship, you never know how long it will last. You can never know that, you can never predict that, but what you do know is if you truly want to be with that man. Your gut feeling tells you that, and it’s up to you to listen. It’s important to not to lie to yourself and pretend you don’t hear this inner voice that is sending you clear signals. Especially if you want to marry the guy.  It’s really important to truly love the guy you promise to be with for the rest of your life. Why is it so important? Because if you say “yes” just because he’s nice and just because he asked you to marry him, there might come a day that it won't  be enough. Of course, there also might be a scenario in which you really love your guy, but the love faded away after a few years, and this is something you can’t have full control over. But when you enter into a relationship unsure if this is the right guy, the chances that someone will sweep you off your feet are greater. That’s why it’s so important to not lie to yourself and not be afraid to say no to something that doesn’t fulfill your needs. Don’t be afraid that if you say no that "no one else will come into your life”. He will show up, trust me. Focus on yourself and be patient and as a reward you'll get a guy who not only helps you to grow, but who makes you a better version of yourself. It’s worth the wait. Don’t be like Meryl, who spent the rest of her life thinking about Clint. Don't rush into a relationship just because you want to be in one and it seems like a good idea at the time. And remember – you deserve more than you think you do, so mediocre decisions and guys shouldn’t be enough for you. 



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