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Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally ...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops? In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, sinc...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yorkers a lot....

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

How to Choose a Partner?
There is a problem with choosing the right guy. Namely: when do you know he is, in fact, right? What is the most important factor? Should you make a list and stick to it? Or is it better to go with...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

The Bridges of Madison County - A Cautionary Tale

added: 2017-09-24 , category: It's all about sex

I’ve been coming back to old movies recently and watched one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Bridges of Madison County” with my favorite actress, Meryl Streep. I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that movie for a week. It’s about a photographer (Clint Eastwood) who gets an assignment for National Geographic to shoot some old bridges, and while he’s doing that he meets a married housewife whose husband and kids have left for fours days. The affair had to happen. What distinguishes that couple from any other couple that has an affair is  that they really are the missing element in each other’s lives. They fall in love and she struggles with the decision of whether she should leave her life and walk away with him. The movie hit me, because even though I have never been in a  situation like that (obviously), I somehow felt the pain of that decision. What do you do? You have a loving husband who is a good father, but you sacrificed yourself and don’t remember who you are anymore. Then you meet a guy who is your soulmate, who’d be able to help you to spread your wings and finally be your true self, but you have a family that you care about. What should you do?


For me, this movie is a warning. When you get yourself into a relationship, you never know how long it will last. You can never know that, you can never predict that, but what you do know is if you truly want to be with that man. Your gut feeling tells you that, and it’s up to you to listen. It’s important to not to lie to yourself and pretend you don’t hear this inner voice that is sending you clear signals. Especially if you want to marry the guy.  It’s really important to truly love the guy you promise to be with for the rest of your life. Why is it so important? Because if you say “yes” just because he’s nice and just because he asked you to marry him, there might come a day that it won't  be enough. Of course, there also might be a scenario in which you really love your guy, but the love faded away after a few years, and this is something you can’t have full control over. But when you enter into a relationship unsure if this is the right guy, the chances that someone will sweep you off your feet are greater. That’s why it’s so important to not lie to yourself and not be afraid to say no to something that doesn’t fulfill your needs. Don’t be afraid that if you say no that "no one else will come into your life”. He will show up, trust me. Focus on yourself and be patient and as a reward you'll get a guy who not only helps you to grow, but who makes you a better version of yourself. It’s worth the wait. Don’t be like Meryl, who spent the rest of her life thinking about Clint. Don't rush into a relationship just because you want to be in one and it seems like a good idea at the time. And remember – you deserve more than you think you do, so mediocre decisions and guys shouldn’t be enough for you. 



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