Twitter Facebook Instagram Szukaj Newsletter Kontakt Wersja polska

About me | My projects | My products | Contact

Contact with me
justlikeny@gmail.com

Zapisz się do newslettera





Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

Where I Am Now and Where I Want To Be
Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com Since I keep saying that you should follow your dreams and that I believe you can get what you envision for yourself (or, to put it simply &ndas...

Step 47 - Mindset is everything
photo by Janusz Tomczyk www.wdkproductions.com People think that if they get more things, their situation will change. More money, more opportunities, more education, more time, more cont...

Super Single
Photo by Janusz Tomczyk, www.wdkproductions.com A few days ago, I first heard the term “super single” and my first thought was – what did they came up with this time…?...

Step 46 – Be patient
If someone asked me to choose only one thing as my most valuable lesson NY taught me, it would have to be – being patient. I’m so happy I finally learned this ve...

Step 45 – You Decide
I recently watched a baking show on Netflix. It’s not that I’m a baker now (in fact, it’ been a while since I baked), but I love sweets and I love creative and passionate people (t...

Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?
photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/ I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real ...

Walk with me, Part 4 – Nolita
Nolita is right next to Soho and I was thinking of putting these two walks together – and you could do that of course – but there are just too many things to explore in each neighborhood s...

When Is the Right Time To Say No To a Guy?

added: 2017-07-11 , category: It's all about sex

The great thing about getting older is that your brain keeps working better and better. You finally see certain connections occur and you don’t do as many stupid things that end up hurting you. You still do a decent amount of them, but you can take care of yourself a bit better. And I believe that one of these things that help you avoid hurting yourself is just saying NO. Especially when it comes to relationships and sex. I believe that we all do it – we all agree to things we don’t necessary like, especially when we just started dating someone. We like a guy, so we are afraid to say anything that would make us lose him. We’re so scared of rejection, we would agree to just about anything. Sex is usually a complicated matter (which it doesn’t have to be), because we make it that way.  We somehow are afraid to say what we really do and don’t like, even to a partner who we’ve been with for a long time (or maybe especially to a long-term partner).

I met a guy recently and it was the first time in my life when I said No to a few things. They weren’t big things, but this was something that was making me uncomfortable (without revealing too much details – it was about sex). In the past, I used to just do it, afraid he’d be laughing at me or – what’s worst – would think I’m not good enough. But this time I just thought – Hell no, why do I have to agree to something that doesn’t give me any pleasure…? (And sex is supposed to be only about pleasure!). I like sex, the guy is hot, so I definitely want to enjoy it – which is why I thought: “Why not just say something?” I said to myself: “I’m too old for this crap”. And I just said: “No”. And? Nothing bad happened. He listened and never did ask me about that again. And I was so proud of myself – just for defending myself. Because the truth is that you don’t have to say Yes to everything. If he doesn’t like it, or will not respect it, isn’t it better to know that right away…? Why would you want to be with someone who gets offended, because you’re not feeling comfortable with something? Being with someone shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable; it should make you happy. It should make you shine. If it’s not like that – something is not going the right way. You have to be honest about stuff like that – you just have to, for your own sake. If he leaves you after you speak up – fuck him, he wouldn’t be your partner anyway. And if it was just a hook-up – still, not worth it, if he is an asshole, it’s even better that you guys don’t have sex.

Don’t be afraid to protect yourself. Saying No is really liberating and the fact that you don’t like certain things doesn’t make you a weirdo. It’s just who you are and there’s no reason to change it, if you don’t want it. Do what feels right to you.

It took me many years to get to this point. I just like myself too much and I think that I’m worthy of the best things. There’s no reason for me to agree to a situation in which I feel like I’m doing something against my will. And I definitely don’t want to agree on things that don’t make me happy. 



Your comments

comments powered by Disqus