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How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, the more I real...

Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my pho...

Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Hook-ups

added: 2017-05-14 , category: It's all about sex

There is this weird thing about sex. I can’t believe that after all these years it is still considered a taboo. My last post about dick pics or videos (a novelty) apparently was a surprise for many people. People asked me if that really happened. And I was surprised that they were surprised. I don’t think it’s only a NY thing; I believe it happens worldwide now. Maybe we are still too shy to talk about sex openly, but we’re not too shy to message about it at all, even with strangers. Online dating and now online apps changed everything. They really opened a Pandora’s box, and by the box – I mean our phones. As I wrote on Just Like NY before – it takes two clicks and you become part of dating community. And there are rarely any rules out there. You can get whatever you want, literally. Especially in the place like NY where there is everything – every guy you want, every place you want, every situation you want. You just have to say: Yes. Sex life in NY is very rich (I heard so many hilarious stories that I have to finally start writing them down). And one of the most popular things here are hook-ups. Basically, you just meet for sex. What does it look like? You find each other on the app, start chatting, sometimes for a day (or an hour!), sometimes for a few days or even weeks. Then you decide to meet up, usually at a bar, the brave ones meet in apartment right away. You have one drink at the bar and if you like each other, you go to the apartment. The encounter lasts something between half an hour to a few hours (it can even last the whole night, if you’re lucky). One more thing – don’t think that all apartments in NY look like those from “Sex and the city”…they rarely do. And the chances that the person you go to has a roommate or a few of them are almost 100% (NY reality).

What is it about? It’s about sex. Only about sex. If you live here, you spend so much time at work, then go to gym, meet with your friends, sometimes you realize after a while that there is no sex in your life and you decide to do something about it. How about just starting dating the old fashioned way and then see what happens, you’d ask? The problem is that not many New Yorkers want to commit. They’re just afraid that there is something better around the corner. Is it stupid? Yes, it is, because there is usually nothing better around the corner, but we live with this illusion anyway. We lie to ourselves to find an excuse not to involve ourselves with something serious. “Serious” means changing our lives a bit and we’re too lazy and too self-involved to do that.

The first question you will always (!) hear from your friends after a hook-up is: Would you see him again? And the answer usually is: I don’t know. Do you want to? They will ask. I think so, will be your answer. You don’t definitely know, because you don’t know what happens around the corner the same day. Welcome to 2017.

 

Are hook-ups for everyone? No, they are not. If you’re really seeking for a relationship and you like the guy you want to hook up with, you have to be careful, because the chances that you’d be a one-night-stand for him are just too big. But it’s a myth that we, women, are always seeking for love; sometimes we just really need sex. We have or needs, too, you know? 



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