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Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
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What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
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Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
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How to Choose a Partner?
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Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
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Brooklyn Stories #1
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Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
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The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

Hook-ups

added: 2017-05-14 , category: It's all about sex

There is this weird thing about sex. I can’t believe that after all these years it is still considered a taboo. My last post about dick pics or videos (a novelty) apparently was a surprise for many people. People asked me if that really happened. And I was surprised that they were surprised. I don’t think it’s only a NY thing; I believe it happens worldwide now. Maybe we are still too shy to talk about sex openly, but we’re not too shy to message about it at all, even with strangers. Online dating and now online apps changed everything. They really opened a Pandora’s box, and by the box – I mean our phones. As I wrote on Just Like NY before – it takes two clicks and you become part of dating community. And there are rarely any rules out there. You can get whatever you want, literally. Especially in the place like NY where there is everything – every guy you want, every place you want, every situation you want. You just have to say: Yes. Sex life in NY is very rich (I heard so many hilarious stories that I have to finally start writing them down). And one of the most popular things here are hook-ups. Basically, you just meet for sex. What does it look like? You find each other on the app, start chatting, sometimes for a day (or an hour!), sometimes for a few days or even weeks. Then you decide to meet up, usually at a bar, the brave ones meet in apartment right away. You have one drink at the bar and if you like each other, you go to the apartment. The encounter lasts something between half an hour to a few hours (it can even last the whole night, if you’re lucky). One more thing – don’t think that all apartments in NY look like those from “Sex and the city”…they rarely do. And the chances that the person you go to has a roommate or a few of them are almost 100% (NY reality).

What is it about? It’s about sex. Only about sex. If you live here, you spend so much time at work, then go to gym, meet with your friends, sometimes you realize after a while that there is no sex in your life and you decide to do something about it. How about just starting dating the old fashioned way and then see what happens, you’d ask? The problem is that not many New Yorkers want to commit. They’re just afraid that there is something better around the corner. Is it stupid? Yes, it is, because there is usually nothing better around the corner, but we live with this illusion anyway. We lie to ourselves to find an excuse not to involve ourselves with something serious. “Serious” means changing our lives a bit and we’re too lazy and too self-involved to do that.

The first question you will always (!) hear from your friends after a hook-up is: Would you see him again? And the answer usually is: I don’t know. Do you want to? They will ask. I think so, will be your answer. You don’t definitely know, because you don’t know what happens around the corner the same day. Welcome to 2017.

 

Are hook-ups for everyone? No, they are not. If you’re really seeking for a relationship and you like the guy you want to hook up with, you have to be careful, because the chances that you’d be a one-night-stand for him are just too big. But it’s a myth that we, women, are always seeking for love; sometimes we just really need sex. We have or needs, too, you know? 



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