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Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?
photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/ I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real ...

Walk with me, Part 4 – Nolita
Nolita is right next to Soho and I was thinking of putting these two walks together – and you could do that of course – but there are just too many things to explore in each neighborhood s...

Step 43: Have the Courage to Stand Alone
Photo by wdkproductions.com I heard this sentence: “Have the courage to stand alone”, spoken by Brene Brown in a conversation with Marie Forleo a few weeks ago, and it keeps ringing in ...

Walk with Me, Part 3 – Soho
  Soho is one of my favorite places in NY. And it’s not because of the fancy stores (I don’t have the desire to buy a Chanel bag, I want someone to give me that bag for free.) It's...

Step 42 – How do we not go crazy?
It’s very easy to go crazy in NY. It’s way too easy. That’s why at some point, you have to slow down and ask yourself how your mind is doing. There are a few different ways I ...

Step 41 – Close the Open Tabs
I recently noticed that everyone, including myself, says, “OMG, this month passed by so fast! Where did the time go?” And I feel that every year we say it more often. Have you noticed th...

The Bridges of Madison County - A Cautionary Tale
I’ve been coming back to old movies recently and watched one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Bridges of Madison County” with my favorite actress, Meryl Str...

Brooklyn vs. Manhattan
It’s funny how Manhattan and Brooklyn are different, even though they are only a river away. They are actually just one subway stop away (which is a few minutes’ distance). A lot of peop...

Women’s Surf Film Festival
I finally attended Women’s Surf Film Festival that took place at Rockaway Beach Surf Club on the last Friday and Saturday of July. I didn’t see all the movies (they’re mostly short...

Birthday
35 years ago, a miracle happened and I came into this world. And everything changed. I’m kidding. Nothing changed, except for the fact that the world got a bit confused. When I was a little ...

Yelp & Health
If you are running a restaurant business in NYC, you always fear of two things: Health Department and Yelp reviews. Health Department comes to a restaurant once a year and checks everything &ndash...

Racism Is Still Alive
I just had a chance to watch a new movie called “Crown Heights” and I must say it was a really painful screening for me. Had I watched it back in Poland, I would probably look at it as j...

Hook-ups

added: 2017-05-14 , category: It's all about sex

There is this weird thing about sex. I can’t believe that after all these years it is still considered a taboo. My last post about dick pics or videos (a novelty) apparently was a surprise for many people. People asked me if that really happened. And I was surprised that they were surprised. I don’t think it’s only a NY thing; I believe it happens worldwide now. Maybe we are still too shy to talk about sex openly, but we’re not too shy to message about it at all, even with strangers. Online dating and now online apps changed everything. They really opened a Pandora’s box, and by the box – I mean our phones. As I wrote on Just Like NY before – it takes two clicks and you become part of dating community. And there are rarely any rules out there. You can get whatever you want, literally. Especially in the place like NY where there is everything – every guy you want, every place you want, every situation you want. You just have to say: Yes. Sex life in NY is very rich (I heard so many hilarious stories that I have to finally start writing them down). And one of the most popular things here are hook-ups. Basically, you just meet for sex. What does it look like? You find each other on the app, start chatting, sometimes for a day (or an hour!), sometimes for a few days or even weeks. Then you decide to meet up, usually at a bar, the brave ones meet in apartment right away. You have one drink at the bar and if you like each other, you go to the apartment. The encounter lasts something between half an hour to a few hours (it can even last the whole night, if you’re lucky). One more thing – don’t think that all apartments in NY look like those from “Sex and the city”…they rarely do. And the chances that the person you go to has a roommate or a few of them are almost 100% (NY reality).

What is it about? It’s about sex. Only about sex. If you live here, you spend so much time at work, then go to gym, meet with your friends, sometimes you realize after a while that there is no sex in your life and you decide to do something about it. How about just starting dating the old fashioned way and then see what happens, you’d ask? The problem is that not many New Yorkers want to commit. They’re just afraid that there is something better around the corner. Is it stupid? Yes, it is, because there is usually nothing better around the corner, but we live with this illusion anyway. We lie to ourselves to find an excuse not to involve ourselves with something serious. “Serious” means changing our lives a bit and we’re too lazy and too self-involved to do that.

The first question you will always (!) hear from your friends after a hook-up is: Would you see him again? And the answer usually is: I don’t know. Do you want to? They will ask. I think so, will be your answer. You don’t definitely know, because you don’t know what happens around the corner the same day. Welcome to 2017.

 

Are hook-ups for everyone? No, they are not. If you’re really seeking for a relationship and you like the guy you want to hook up with, you have to be careful, because the chances that you’d be a one-night-stand for him are just too big. But it’s a myth that we, women, are always seeking for love; sometimes we just really need sex. We have or needs, too, you know? 



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