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How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, the more I real...

Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my pho...

Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Why Is Going On a Date In NY Close To a Miracle?

added: 2017-04-19 , category: It's all about sex

I just downloaded one of the numerous available dating apps. I was curious what it looks like and I thought to myself that I have nothing to lose. It may turn out that I have nothing to gain from it, either. Ok, it may be too soon to say that, but after two weeks I have a few observations. I will share them with you for benefit of those who are already in a relationship, and those who are not on any app. And with those who are still wondering if they should make that step. To those who are in relationships and still are using these apps, I have only one thing to say: you are losers and liars, and I don’t want to have anything to do with you.

For those who don’t know (Two weeks ago, I still didn’t), to download this app you just need only two clicks! TWO! After that the whole world of guys just opens up for you. Well, technically it does. And then the party begins – you swipe right if you like the guy, or swipe left if you don’t. If he swipes right seeing your picture in turn, you guys are connected and you can start a conversation. My app is called Bumble and (if you are a woman) and want to have a conversation, you have to start one – a guy cannot start it. So everything is up to a woman. Why I chose this particular app? Because I don’t want to wait – either you want to talk, or you don’t.

First thing: OMG, there are so many good looking guys in NY…! It’s hard to believe. And that’s the main problem. There are just too many of them. If there are so many handsome guys, there must be the same amount of beautiful girls – oh, yes, these are here, too. How to choose only one from that abundance…?

My experience so far goes like this. You write to a guy, he writes you back (or not), you write to him again and he might write you back, but most likely he won’t. I sent the first message at 10pm, he messaged me back at 8pm next day. I noticed it at 10pm, but I was going to sleep so I didn’t reply, then I messaged him at 11am the next day and he either messaged me back in the evening and I didn’t even notice the message – or he didn’t. A very similar situation took place with 3 other guys. One message a day (I mean, one sentence), that’s an average. I talked to the first guy for an hour and thought that that was nothing, but now I think that we probably started a relationship… Does it mean that I’m a moron and I can’t ask interesting questions? No, it means that they’re too lazy to message you. You gave the guy some attention and that’s it, this is all he needed. They just have too many options. And I started to think that this is all we need in NY – we want some attention and we want to still have options open. My friend asked me why I didn’t download other apps and I said: ”Are you crazy? Who has time for that? I barely find half an hour every other day to try this one out”.

 

I was sitting in a sauna today and there were two girls talking next to me – both beautiful, with great bodies – and one of them asked: “So, when are you meeting this guy?”, “I don’t know, we matched yesterday, we’re just talking, we’ll probably meet during the week. But I don’t know. I noticed that I schedule these dates and then I end up not going to them. Like this week – I was tired after work and…it was raining”. I almost turned around to them and said “High five”. I’m not sure if I want to go on a date myself. All of us in NY say that we want to be with somebody, but… do we really? We don’t want to put any work into it, we don’t want to put too much effort, we want it to just magically occur. Or maybe… we don’t even want a relationship? We know it’s not about magic at all and that we have to do something. Will we do anything…? I doubt it. But I’m not giving up yet. And maybe I will eventually put some work in it, too. After all, building any sort of relationship requires much more than just swiping one’s thumb on your smartphone’s screen.



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