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Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?
photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/ I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real ...

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Photo by wdkproductions.com I heard this sentence: “Have the courage to stand alone”, spoken by Brene Brown in a conversation with Marie Forleo a few weeks ago, and it keeps ringing in ...

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Step 42 – How do we not go crazy?
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Step 41 – Close the Open Tabs
I recently noticed that everyone, including myself, says, “OMG, this month passed by so fast! Where did the time go?” And I feel that every year we say it more often. Have you noticed th...

The Bridges of Madison County - A Cautionary Tale
I’ve been coming back to old movies recently and watched one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Bridges of Madison County” with my favorite actress, Meryl Str...

Brooklyn vs. Manhattan
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Women’s Surf Film Festival
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Yelp & Health
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Racism Is Still Alive
I just had a chance to watch a new movie called “Crown Heights” and I must say it was a really painful screening for me. Had I watched it back in Poland, I would probably look at it as j...

Why Is Going On a Date In NY Close To a Miracle?

added: 2017-04-19 , category: It's all about sex

I just downloaded one of the numerous available dating apps. I was curious what it looks like and I thought to myself that I have nothing to lose. It may turn out that I have nothing to gain from it, either. Ok, it may be too soon to say that, but after two weeks I have a few observations. I will share them with you for benefit of those who are already in a relationship, and those who are not on any app. And with those who are still wondering if they should make that step. To those who are in relationships and still are using these apps, I have only one thing to say: you are losers and liars, and I don’t want to have anything to do with you.

For those who don’t know (Two weeks ago, I still didn’t), to download this app you just need only two clicks! TWO! After that the whole world of guys just opens up for you. Well, technically it does. And then the party begins – you swipe right if you like the guy, or swipe left if you don’t. If he swipes right seeing your picture in turn, you guys are connected and you can start a conversation. My app is called Bumble and (if you are a woman) and want to have a conversation, you have to start one – a guy cannot start it. So everything is up to a woman. Why I chose this particular app? Because I don’t want to wait – either you want to talk, or you don’t.

First thing: OMG, there are so many good looking guys in NY…! It’s hard to believe. And that’s the main problem. There are just too many of them. If there are so many handsome guys, there must be the same amount of beautiful girls – oh, yes, these are here, too. How to choose only one from that abundance…?

My experience so far goes like this. You write to a guy, he writes you back (or not), you write to him again and he might write you back, but most likely he won’t. I sent the first message at 10pm, he messaged me back at 8pm next day. I noticed it at 10pm, but I was going to sleep so I didn’t reply, then I messaged him at 11am the next day and he either messaged me back in the evening and I didn’t even notice the message – or he didn’t. A very similar situation took place with 3 other guys. One message a day (I mean, one sentence), that’s an average. I talked to the first guy for an hour and thought that that was nothing, but now I think that we probably started a relationship… Does it mean that I’m a moron and I can’t ask interesting questions? No, it means that they’re too lazy to message you. You gave the guy some attention and that’s it, this is all he needed. They just have too many options. And I started to think that this is all we need in NY – we want some attention and we want to still have options open. My friend asked me why I didn’t download other apps and I said: ”Are you crazy? Who has time for that? I barely find half an hour every other day to try this one out”.

 

I was sitting in a sauna today and there were two girls talking next to me – both beautiful, with great bodies – and one of them asked: “So, when are you meeting this guy?”, “I don’t know, we matched yesterday, we’re just talking, we’ll probably meet during the week. But I don’t know. I noticed that I schedule these dates and then I end up not going to them. Like this week – I was tired after work and…it was raining”. I almost turned around to them and said “High five”. I’m not sure if I want to go on a date myself. All of us in NY say that we want to be with somebody, but… do we really? We don’t want to put any work into it, we don’t want to put too much effort, we want it to just magically occur. Or maybe… we don’t even want a relationship? We know it’s not about magic at all and that we have to do something. Will we do anything…? I doubt it. But I’m not giving up yet. And maybe I will eventually put some work in it, too. After all, building any sort of relationship requires much more than just swiping one’s thumb on your smartphone’s screen.



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