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Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally ...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops? In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, sinc...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yorkers a lot....

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

How to Choose a Partner?
There is a problem with choosing the right guy. Namely: when do you know he is, in fact, right? What is the most important factor? Should you make a list and stick to it? Or is it better to go with...

Why I Don’t Glorify Men Anymore
I’m single, so I meet men here and there, and I’ve noticed one interesting thing that has changed recently. It ...

How About My Ego?
I think of relationships a lot recently, but I reflect even more on what we were taught to think and do when it comes to men. I wrote about Matthew Hussey on Just Like NY already, he’s a relat...

Brooklyn Stories #1
As I said in my previous post, I decided to move out (I lived in my apartment for the past three years) and start fresh in a new neighborhood (I chose Greenpoint, which became a desired neighborho...

Step 48 - Love People, But Love Yourself More
photo by Janusz Tomczyk wdkproductions.com I don’t know why people, especially women, keep whining about their age and “getting older”. What I say about myself being now in my 30s...

The Rapid Change of NY
I went for a walk with my friend on the Lower East Side on Saturday night, and we felt like someone had transported us to another city. We didn’t know where we were or what had ...

It’s You Who Picks Them, Not the Other Way Around

added: 2016-12-06 , category: It's all about sex

I just love it when girls – and guys alike – keep saying: „Oh my god, I keep attracting all those freaks. Why do they like me so much? When there is this crazy person around,  I know they will pick me! Why is it like that? Life is so unfair!”. When I hear this, I just start laughing. Really…? They pick you…? Are you sure?

We love to blame others for all the unfairness and for the weird people that keep bothering us. “I always end up with unfaithful / lost / weak / broken guys”, and so on, and so forth. Usually, all this is followed by: “It’s my karma. I can’t just meet a normal guy”. How hilarious. I’m sorry to tell you this, but if you really want to blame someone, just look in the mirror. They don’t pick you, you pick them.

Why have I never dated a crazy guy? Am I just lucky? No: they just are not interested in me, because I can smell their craziness from a mile away and would not agree to even starting a conversation with them (I dated different kind of troublesome guys, but it’s another story). Maybe my intuition is just stronger, or maybe I just pay attention to the signs I wrote about recently on Just Like NY.  It’s also  about setting the standards for yourself (I already wrote about those, too). Because it all boils down to one thing – who do you want to be with? Unfortunately, women’s biggest sin is that they simply want to be in a relationship. Who they want to be with is – surprisingly – only secondary. “He’s interested in me, so I’m fine, this is all I wanted.” Or: “I just needed someone who texts me, eats dinner with me and sleeps with me. All bases covered.”

How about looking closer at who is it that we choose and start thinking why we choose certain type of guys? Why should we do it? To have better relationships. To be happier. To be inspired. If you’re with the right person, you just become a better version of yourself and when you’re better, you notice more things around you, you’re kinder to other people, you do more good. And we do need good things around, especially now, when we’re so lost in a world seemingly out of a “Jetsons” episode. Before you say “Yes” to dating someone, think if it adds any value to your life (note: craziness is NOT a value). Before you decide, take a closer look at the person and be honest with yourself, if this is really someone you want to be with. The fact he or she is just “out there” doesn’t make them into an automatic perfect fit for you. Does s/he meet your standards? Do both of you share the same values? Do you want similar things from life?

Whatever you answer to these questions, don’t lie to yourself in order to avoid loneliness, because when you end up with the wrong person, you’ll feel more lonely than you have ever felt before.



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