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Step 44 - How Do You See Yourself?
photo by http://www.wdkproductions.com/ I wonder what kind of picture of yourself do you have in your own mind? I’m not asking about the one you present to the world, but about the real ...

Walk with me, Part 4 – Nolita
Nolita is right next to Soho and I was thinking of putting these two walks together – and you could do that of course – but there are just too many things to explore in each neighborhood s...

Step 43: Have the Courage to Stand Alone
Photo by wdkproductions.com I heard this sentence: “Have the courage to stand alone”, spoken by Brene Brown in a conversation with Marie Forleo a few weeks ago, and it keeps ringing in ...

Walk with Me, Part 3 – Soho
  Soho is one of my favorite places in NY. And it’s not because of the fancy stores (I don’t have the desire to buy a Chanel bag, I want someone to give me that bag for free.) It's...

Step 42 – How do we not go crazy?
It’s very easy to go crazy in NY. It’s way too easy. That’s why at some point, you have to slow down and ask yourself how your mind is doing. There are a few different ways I ...

Step 41 – Close the Open Tabs
I recently noticed that everyone, including myself, says, “OMG, this month passed by so fast! Where did the time go?” And I feel that every year we say it more often. Have you noticed th...

The Bridges of Madison County - A Cautionary Tale
I’ve been coming back to old movies recently and watched one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Bridges of Madison County” with my favorite actress, Meryl Str...

Brooklyn vs. Manhattan
It’s funny how Manhattan and Brooklyn are different, even though they are only a river away. They are actually just one subway stop away (which is a few minutes’ distance). A lot of peop...

Women’s Surf Film Festival
I finally attended Women’s Surf Film Festival that took place at Rockaway Beach Surf Club on the last Friday and Saturday of July. I didn’t see all the movies (they’re mostly short...

Birthday
35 years ago, a miracle happened and I came into this world. And everything changed. I’m kidding. Nothing changed, except for the fact that the world got a bit confused. When I was a little ...

Yelp & Health
If you are running a restaurant business in NYC, you always fear of two things: Health Department and Yelp reviews. Health Department comes to a restaurant once a year and checks everything &ndash...

Racism Is Still Alive
I just had a chance to watch a new movie called “Crown Heights” and I must say it was a really painful screening for me. Had I watched it back in Poland, I would probably look at it as j...

It’s You Who Picks Them, Not the Other Way Around

added: 2016-12-06 , category: It's all about sex

I just love it when girls – and guys alike – keep saying: „Oh my god, I keep attracting all those freaks. Why do they like me so much? When there is this crazy person around,  I know they will pick me! Why is it like that? Life is so unfair!”. When I hear this, I just start laughing. Really…? They pick you…? Are you sure?

We love to blame others for all the unfairness and for the weird people that keep bothering us. “I always end up with unfaithful / lost / weak / broken guys”, and so on, and so forth. Usually, all this is followed by: “It’s my karma. I can’t just meet a normal guy”. How hilarious. I’m sorry to tell you this, but if you really want to blame someone, just look in the mirror. They don’t pick you, you pick them.

Why have I never dated a crazy guy? Am I just lucky? No: they just are not interested in me, because I can smell their craziness from a mile away and would not agree to even starting a conversation with them (I dated different kind of troublesome guys, but it’s another story). Maybe my intuition is just stronger, or maybe I just pay attention to the signs I wrote about recently on Just Like NY.  It’s also  about setting the standards for yourself (I already wrote about those, too). Because it all boils down to one thing – who do you want to be with? Unfortunately, women’s biggest sin is that they simply want to be in a relationship. Who they want to be with is – surprisingly – only secondary. “He’s interested in me, so I’m fine, this is all I wanted.” Or: “I just needed someone who texts me, eats dinner with me and sleeps with me. All bases covered.”

How about looking closer at who is it that we choose and start thinking why we choose certain type of guys? Why should we do it? To have better relationships. To be happier. To be inspired. If you’re with the right person, you just become a better version of yourself and when you’re better, you notice more things around you, you’re kinder to other people, you do more good. And we do need good things around, especially now, when we’re so lost in a world seemingly out of a “Jetsons” episode. Before you say “Yes” to dating someone, think if it adds any value to your life (note: craziness is NOT a value). Before you decide, take a closer look at the person and be honest with yourself, if this is really someone you want to be with. The fact he or she is just “out there” doesn’t make them into an automatic perfect fit for you. Does s/he meet your standards? Do both of you share the same values? Do you want similar things from life?

Whatever you answer to these questions, don’t lie to yourself in order to avoid loneliness, because when you end up with the wrong person, you’ll feel more lonely than you have ever felt before.



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