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How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, the more I real...

Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my pho...

Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

It’s You Who Picks Them, Not the Other Way Around

added: 2016-12-06 , category: It's all about sex

I just love it when girls – and guys alike – keep saying: „Oh my god, I keep attracting all those freaks. Why do they like me so much? When there is this crazy person around,  I know they will pick me! Why is it like that? Life is so unfair!”. When I hear this, I just start laughing. Really…? They pick you…? Are you sure?

We love to blame others for all the unfairness and for the weird people that keep bothering us. “I always end up with unfaithful / lost / weak / broken guys”, and so on, and so forth. Usually, all this is followed by: “It’s my karma. I can’t just meet a normal guy”. How hilarious. I’m sorry to tell you this, but if you really want to blame someone, just look in the mirror. They don’t pick you, you pick them.

Why have I never dated a crazy guy? Am I just lucky? No: they just are not interested in me, because I can smell their craziness from a mile away and would not agree to even starting a conversation with them (I dated different kind of troublesome guys, but it’s another story). Maybe my intuition is just stronger, or maybe I just pay attention to the signs I wrote about recently on Just Like NY.  It’s also  about setting the standards for yourself (I already wrote about those, too). Because it all boils down to one thing – who do you want to be with? Unfortunately, women’s biggest sin is that they simply want to be in a relationship. Who they want to be with is – surprisingly – only secondary. “He’s interested in me, so I’m fine, this is all I wanted.” Or: “I just needed someone who texts me, eats dinner with me and sleeps with me. All bases covered.”

How about looking closer at who is it that we choose and start thinking why we choose certain type of guys? Why should we do it? To have better relationships. To be happier. To be inspired. If you’re with the right person, you just become a better version of yourself and when you’re better, you notice more things around you, you’re kinder to other people, you do more good. And we do need good things around, especially now, when we’re so lost in a world seemingly out of a “Jetsons” episode. Before you say “Yes” to dating someone, think if it adds any value to your life (note: craziness is NOT a value). Before you decide, take a closer look at the person and be honest with yourself, if this is really someone you want to be with. The fact he or she is just “out there” doesn’t make them into an automatic perfect fit for you. Does s/he meet your standards? Do both of you share the same values? Do you want similar things from life?

Whatever you answer to these questions, don’t lie to yourself in order to avoid loneliness, because when you end up with the wrong person, you’ll feel more lonely than you have ever felt before.



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