Facebook Instagram Szukaj Kontakt Wersja polska

About me | My projects | My products | Contact

Contact with me
justlikeny@gmail.com

Zapisz się do newslettera





Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Drop This Attitude

added: 2018-12-26 , category: Transform Yourself

I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was that we’re talking all the time. We got to the point in our friendship where we’re brutally honest with each other and it’s comforting to talk to someone and to be fully yourself - with all your fears and struggles (I’m lucky to have a few people like that around me). We didn’t do anything fancy - a lot of walking with hot tea, museum, a bar, Christmas lights, but we’re excited like little kids all the time. And because the time together brought us so much happiness we both agreed on that life can be really simple and yet so pleasant and so amazing at the same time. 

 

We both went a long way to get where we are now so we appreciate things more now. We both know that being happy is a choice. We still struggle with something, each of us has a different battle to fight, but we don’t let it determine our outlook on life. Just because we have one (or a few problems) it doesn’t mean that “life is bad” or “unfair” or “difficult”. It just means that you have to work on something. That’s all it means. It doesn’t immediately mean that life sucks. There will be always (ALWAYS!!!) something to worry about. Once you solve your money problem, you will get a relationship problem; once this one is fixed, you get health problem; when this one is gone, your family will need your help. No, it never stops. So now you have to decide. Yes, it’s up to you. How would you react? No, I didn’t get crazy. I’m asking you again - what’s your reaction? And before you say that you don’t know, because you never know how would you react, I will tell you something. You can decide where your mind goes and what would you focus on even now. You have two choices - put your whole attention to what’s just happened and let it take over your life. Or you can decide that it’s just an obstacle and all you need to do is to find a solution. But while you’re looking for it, you won’t forget that there are other things to live for and to be grateful for. From my experience - 85% of people I talk to focus on a problem. This is how they start their day, this is what they’re thinking during the day, this how they end it - just thinking about the problem (not always solving it). You can ruin your whole life with this approach. Yes, shit happens (to everyone) so be clever about it. And think where is the solution instead of letting this thing ruin your life. 

 

I hear this whining “about problems” everywhere and got really tired of it. I deal with very privileged people and yet they complain about many things. And this is how I finally learned that money is not a problem solver. Neither is having a partner or the job you wanted. What really solves your problems is changing your attitude. And your priorities (that I wrote about recently). I’m always happy (except before my period) and it’s not because I’m blind - its quite the opposite - because my eyes are fully open. I can see just a bit further. Further than my problem. Whatever you’re going through in your life, believe me - it’s not the end of the world. And I would bet any amount of money in this world that there are thousands of people whose problems are bigger than yours. Does it mean your problem is not that important? If you asked me this question a year ago I would still say, “Yes, it is important, you have the right to feel bad about it.” But you know what? I grew up, and have heard too many stories. so now I would just say, “No, it’s not.” Sit down, make a plan and stop being so obsessed with yourself. Change what you can change in this very moment, which is your attitude. Just drop it.



Your comments

comments powered by Disqus