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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

How To Get the Body You Want

added: 2018-12-16 , category: Transform Yourself

Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or “My body is ugly”…? If you did, or — what’s even worse — you keep saying it, it will be very difficult for you to lose your extra weight. You think I’m kidding…? You think that hating yourself is something that has nothing to do with what your scales shows? Well, it does.

 

As I said in my previous post — words do matter. Words you speak to yourself shape who you are. When you say: “I’m fat”, those words are not disappearing up in smoke the second you utter them. They go directly to your brain and your brain makes a note — “He’s fat, so I can’t let him lose the weight, he has to stay fat, because this is what he said he was”. Every bad word you speak to yourself stays up there. It stays within you and it’s now part of your story. „I look like shit, I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m old, I’m broke, I’m lonely”… All the statements you say stay within you. All of them. 

 

Body is such a complicated topic and caries so much weight — literally and metaphorically. I’ve learned throughout the years that it has determined my life and my choices. And I believe I’m not the only one.

 

I don’t have a body problem now and it’s not because I work out a lot or eat great. I’ve written about those things already and they’re essential; this hasn’t changed. You can’t fool yourself — if you don’t work out and you eat bad, there won’t be any miracles happening. But I also noticed that you may do all that and you still won’t lose your weight. And that’s because you don’t like yourself. You don’t like what you see in the mirror. And I can’t blame you. I once gained weight, too, I couldn’t look at myself. And there was no way I could say anything nice to myself. Everything changed one the day when I made a decision that I needed to change. When something is not working, it’s just not working. You can fool yourself for many years, but there is this moment that you just have to make a choice. I made my body into my priority. I worked out even when I was tired. I did plank challenge, I moved my ass at least four times a week (everything less than that will not get you much of results, that’s the truth), I watched closely what I ate. And when I started doing it, I started liking what I saw in the mirror. I stopped offending myself with foul terms. I didn’t say bad words towards myself. I just encouraged myself, because I knew I could do it (since thousands of other women could, I knew I was capable of doing that, too — the only thing that set us apart was that they decided to fight for it and I needed more time to arrive at that decision). 

 

I don’t work out that much in the past weeks, because I was told to slow down a bit. And I really let go, I let myself —  for the first time in a few years — to just not think about it. I eat ice cream a lot and my body is still in shape. I even think I lost some weight. I might not work out that much now (I will come back to my routine in a few days, since I miss it), but I say a lot of good words towards myself. As I said before — every bad word stays within you, but so does every good word — and is remembered by your brain, as well. I celebrate myself a lot now, because I think I deserved it after all these years of struggling. Every time I look in the mirror I say to myself: “That looks really good. I love my body and am really grateful that I have it”. 

Talking to yourself is important; I can assure you. Be good to your body, because it’s the only body you have. And take care of it. It needs movement, it needs good quality food to carry you on. So instead of looking at workouts and healthy food as your duty, look at it as your privilege. And thank your body for serving you. Remember — your brain registers all your words. So, say something nice to yourself. Just be kinder to yourself. And your body will respond. 



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