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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Accept the challenge

added: 2018-12-12 , category: Transform Yourself

Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally amusing (and I’m starting to lose my patience when I hear it): “You know, it’s so hard.” And it’s spoken not about a specific situation, but about an attempt. An attempt to do what? An attempt to do something different. To put in some effort. I hear it constantly lately. I’ve been talking to a lot of different people and this sentence keeps coming back, like a boomerang. When I talk about the body - to do something about it, if it doesn’t make you happy. About meditation - when people “really want to start, but they can’t, because it’s hard.” When I talk about getting up early. When I talk about not watching TV or not having internet. “But Daga, it’s hard.” I’m so sick of it. Quick questions - who told you it would be easy? And secondly - have you ever learned anything from something that was “easy?” I don’t think so. So why do you keep saying that? If it was easy, that would only mean it wasn’t worth it. It would only mean that there is nothing to gain from it. 

 

The last three years, I’ve learned that everything that was good for me was really difficult and hard. You can’t lose weight if you don’t work out and if you don’t eat well; you just can’t. It’s not even science, it’s just common sense. Is it easy to work out at least 4-5 times a week and to not  eat crap? Hell no, especially if you’ve been overweight your whole life. (I haven’t been, but I know people who have and they accepted the challenge). Is it easy to meditate when you’ve taught your brain to multitask and to look at your phone every five minutes for hours and hours a day? No. It’s difficult to sit still for 10 minutes! This is what we’ve gotten ourselves into. Is it easy not to have an internet if you’re addicted (and most of us are)? No. You come back home for the first two months and you have no idea what to do (even though there is a pile of books to read). Is it easy to get up earlier when you already set your alarm clock to 5:30am? No, and you will find so many excuses for yourself that you’ll be surprised with your own creativity. Nothing is easy and everything will be hard. But people just focus on that “hard” part. They forget that the “hard” part will end one day. And that there is a reward for that. And that the reward is worth everything, even the hardest part of that journey. 

 

My rewards are as follows: from workouts, I got my body to a size I’m really satisfied with (XS in US - god bless America). Shopping is a pleasure now, and it was my nightmare for a decade. From meditating for an hour daily, I’ve calmed down, changed my perspective and learned to breathe differently. Not to mention the fact that it shows me solutions to my problems. From getting rid of internet/TV, I now read more, I write more, and I’m more creative. I’m also calmer - I cut out the noise that comes with it. I also got back to cooking, because now I have a bit more time. With getting up earlier, I leave my house relaxed, not like a crazy person running to catch the train. I don’t rush. Even 15 minutes earlier can change your morning routine. 

 

All of these changes changed me. In my eyes, I achieved a lot. I gained a lot of knowledge about myself and about what I’m capable of. I also finished working on a big thing that might help a lot of people. Because you just never know what you’re made of until you try. And yes, it will be f*cking hard, but that shouldn’t make it so easy for you to give up. Accept the challenge. Make the attempt. And don’t fool yourself that what you have now is enough for you. Maybe you can change the world. But in order to find out, you have to be willing to accept the hard parts and put in some work. Good luck! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!



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