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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit

added: 2018-12-04 , category: Transform Yourself

Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (By the way, why do you even have clothes like that? Just throw them out!) They look like they hate their life and hate themselves. You don’t wash your hair, and sometimes you won’t even wash your face or take off yesterday’s makeup. You put on this sweater that looks like you just found it in the garbage and this is how you roll through your day. I don’t want you to start your day doing your makeup with YouTube tutorials and going through all the Instagram posts with the hashtag #bestoutfits before you dress up, but I want you to ask yourself: why is it that you want to look like a bum at home? You and your apartment are not good enough for you to look good? Even if you live by yourself - you don’t deserve to look good? Not to mention when you live with a partner. You want to keep the sexual healing through the old hoodie you’ve been wearing every day? Just simply put in some effort!

By looking good, I don’t mean putting a ton of makeup on your face or wearing the best clothes (but on the other hand - why not?) All I want you to do is to like what you see in the mirror. You can still wear your favorite sweatpants and your favorite hoodie if it brings a smile to your face and makes you happy.  Put on the clothes you feel comfortable in. But comfortable can also mean cute, not necessarily like you’re just about to clean the whole apartment before Christmas. 

I always put in some effort. I rarely stay at home the whole day (it happens maybe twice a month), but even when I do, I make sure that I like what I see in the mirror. I take a shower, wash my hair, put something on my face if I have to (I’ve always had skin problems, but they’re almost gone!) I don’t put on mascara if I’m staying at home, though. I also wear comfortable clothes, but they’re nice (and nice doesn’t have to mean expensive - I just bought myself $30 outfit, including great socks, at TJ Maxx that made me extremely happy). I have a few cozy sweaters that I like, and a few pairs of fun socks. The whole look (with shower) takes me 10 minutes. And afterwards, every time I look in the mirror, I’m really satisfied (I often even wave to myself). I feel way better about myself. 

 

And if you think it doesn’t matter, you’re wrong. Think about it. What do you think every time you pass your mirror? I can almost bet that you say: “Oh lord, I look like shit.” And you know what? Yes, you do. And do you think that’s helping you? Do you think that saying, “I look like shit” doesn’t matter? Yes, it does, more than you think. The way you talk to yourself ALWAYS matters. Words you speak shape your reality. Believe it or not, your brain registers every word and acts accordingly. A sentence like that really does affect your mood and the way you look at yourself. And the way you feel. And the way you act. And the decisions you make. It’s a snowball effect. I’m not exaggerating. 

 

Do you really not have 10 minutes a day to make yourself look and feel good? Yes, I know, “life is unfair”, you’re miserable, because you don’t have what you wanted and he didn’t call you back on the top of that. So you choose to look like shit. And then you feel like shit. And then you make shitty decisions. Remember - it’s a snowball effect. Do me - and most importantly - yourself a favor and do something about it. You really DESERVE BETTER. And if you say you don’t have time for that, that’s just laughable. (You had plenty of time to check Instagram in the last hour.) Who are you kidding? And most importantly - why? Girl it’s time - as Rachel Hollis says - to wash your face. (By the way, I recommend following this lady, @msrachelhollis, and listening to the conversation she has with Lewis Howes.) 



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