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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number Two

added: 2018-10-21 , category: Transform Yourself

I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware “The Top Five Regrets of Dying”, I wrote about regret number five here, four here and three here.


The second regret is - I wish I hadn’t work so hard. And I believe a lot of people will associate with this regret. What do you work for? We work many hours to make more money, but what do we need it for? A lot of people will answer : “To have a good life”. But what does it mean? What “good life” means to you? When I came to NY I was always saying that I want “a luxury life” and at some point my friend Magda told me: “But you have one already. You do what you always wanted to do”. And her point shifted everything for me. I see that some people don’t even know what they need this money anymore. When they start making more, the amount they wanted, they want to make even more now. They usually say “for my family to have a better life” (often associate “better” with more expensive stuff around). Whereas what really is valuable is time (that you can’t buy, no matter how much you make). And it’s again about the things I’ve been writing over and over again on JLNY - many people think that they will live forever. I do understand ambition, goals, mortgage and wanting more, believe me - I get it, I have the whole list of goals for myself, too, but I recently started question things. How much do you need and how much will make you stop wanting more? How much will satisfy you? And are you sure the things you say will satisfy you, will really do? Because from my experience - whenever I get to my goal, my goal is changing and I even forget to be happy about the fact I achieved what I wanted and the stakes go higher. So do you know what you really want and why you want it? What do you think will bring you happiness? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I know that working long hours for many years and postponing enjoying your life for the future (my favorite - “I will travel when I get old”) don’t really work. Work hard, work smart, work many hours, sure, do it, I am all for that (I do it myself). To get somewhere you actually have no choice than to do that, but also evaluate your reasons and look around. And think again - how much money do you really need? I keep asking myself this question too and the more I ask, the more I see I don’t need that much anymore. Right now I work to live in NY and to be able to write. And I save money for travel. There are my priorities right now. But I’m also more happy eating breakfast at a diner than at The Plaza Hotel. But everyone has its own priorities and looks through them at their life (and others lives). But I will write about it in a separate post. 

 


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