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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”

added: 2018-10-05 , category: Transform Yourself

I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject. 


First of all, forget about this trend of “live your passion.” It just gives people headaches. What if you don’t have one? You’ll start looking for one? If you’re in the middle of that, you’d better stop that. It’s a one way street. It just doesn’t make sense. I completely agree with Ryan Holiday who writes about it in his book “Ego is the Enemy”: “You can often fail because of passion, not because you don’t have one.” But people still want to “find their passion,” because they’re not always sure what they want to do. That was the case with me for many years, too. I read about people who always knew they “wanted to be a doctor/lawyer/mathematician/nurse, etc.” and I had no clue what I wanted to be. When I came to NY five years ago (being 31 already), I still didn’t know the answer to the question, “what’s my goal?” All I knew was that I wanted to live in this city and I wanted to write. That’s it. Meanwhile I had to pay my rent, so I had to work. Different jobs that I had taught me what I liked and what I was good at. And I found out that I love talking to people and – what’s even better – they like talking to me. I found out that I’m a great entertainer and a very good listener. I knew I should have a job that combines these qualities. I also have learned that I can’t have an office job (it’s not meant for my personality) and that I’d rather make people laugh than tell them what to do. Now I know I really do want to write more and I want to help people, because what I also learned along the way (because of the people I’ve met) was that I could do it. My goal is to improve this skill now so I can help as many people as I can. That’s my purpose (not just my passion). 


But I wouldn’t have found my way if I had just simply followed what I love (NY and writing). I really agree with the advice I heard a few times – follow your curiosity. I really believe that it helps you discover what are you truly about. Whatever you’re into – just start doing it (tech stuff/gardening/singing/soccer playing/health, etc.) Because you truly enjoy doing it, you attract people/jobs/situations that will help you discover what your real purpose is. It might even happen that the thing you started with was only there just to get you where you’re really supposed to go. At least this was my case. I think I finally know where I am going. My advice is – do what you like and do it the best you can, put your heart into it and you’ll attract your real purpose. I believe that everyone has a purpose and came here for a reason. I really do believe that. Each of you have something important to do in this world. Don’t think that you’re irrelevant, that you’re “just another human being.” Finding your path is a life changing experience; it just creates this peace inside you that money can’t buy. My tip would be - purpose over passion, and it all begins with following your curiosity.



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