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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
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Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Make Your Own Choice

added: 2018-09-23 , category: Transform Yourself

I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation. 

I never said I was against marriage. I also never said I’m pro marriage. Sometimes I do understand why people want to get married – and sometimes I completely don’t. I learn that everyone has their own reasons and I have to respect them.

But I’m definitely strongly against telling people what to do and I am for them having a choice. The mantra that I’ve been repeating here on Just Like NY is that everyone has a choice. And the choice is also about being or not being married. All I suggest is to sit down and think about it before you say “Yes”. Make your choice while aware of its consequences at the same time. I have no right to tell you if you should get married or not, and also no one has the right to tell me if I should get married. It’s every person’s own, intimate choice. I believe that it isn’t everyone that is suited to be married; that’s my observation and I have the right to have one.

As for today, I can’t picture myself being married and it’s not because I’m single or because I’m afraid of commitment. I love men, but I haven’t met a man whom I can see myself with “till death does us part”. I believe he’s somewhere out there, but we haven’t found each other yet. It might take another year or another decade, or another 36 years. And I’m fine with that. I don’t necessary have to be a wife to feel complete – or loved. And it doesn’t also mean that this is why you got married (if you are married, that is). You had your reasons and whatever these were – I really keep my fingers crossed so that you’re happy (I really do). You did what felt right to you. I do what feels right to me. And that’s the only way we should look at it, and we should live. None of these situations is better or worse. There are pros and cons to both of them. And that’s life. As I said – every choice brings with it a specific set of consequences. I don’t benefit from marriage, you don’t benefit from being single. We made that choice. Maybe being single was a nightmare for you and you couldn’t wait to be married. Good for you! 

If I wanted to change my state, I would tell you; I don’t see any reason to be sneaky about the subject. But I also don’t see any reasons to follow the crowd. Just because “everyone does it” (and, for the record: not everyone does), it doesn’t mean I have to do it, too. And it also doesn’t make it right. I love Steve Jobs’s : “Think different”, but my twist on that is: “Think on your own”. The truth is that some girls get married just because they want to have a wedding and others do because they truly want to spend the rest of their life with that one man. And as I said – whatever the reason is, it’s none of my business and I have to respect that. 

All I’m asking is for you to listen to your heart and not to others. Quiet the noise around you and see what do you (and I mean YOU!) truly want. And don’t be afraid to say “Yes” or “No” to that. That’s it. It’s simple – and very difficult at the same time. 

 


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