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Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

How I Decided To Give Up This Beauty Race
It happens that I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Upper East Side recently, and must say one thing – there are a lot of fake faces out there. And it really annoys ...

Where Are You From?...Who Cares?
I can’t believe I have to write about this again, but it just bothers me so much, so here we go. Racism is alive and homophobia is alive, and if you think differently, you’re delusional&...

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle

added: 2018-08-12 , category: Transform Yourself

As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to lead.

It’s 2018. Technology took over and we basically live in our phones. Some people even think that that’s where the real life is located. We have access to everything: to every idea, to every problem, to all the countries in the world. Everything is in our phone; all we have to do is throw a few words into Google search. You can even get yourself some sex there, or even a partner – all you need is a few clicks.

You didn’t even notice that everything started changing and what that means is – we have to change, too. You have to realize one thing – you can’t use the same tools or even have the same lifestyle as people 40-50 years ago did. You can’t use the same solutions for today’s problems. This world requires new solutions and new adjustments. You can’t assume that you’ll get married and you will be together for the next 50 years (only a few can actually make that happen). I wish you that from the bottom of my heart, but you can’t be as sure about it as you would probably be a century ago (well, they didn’t live that long, either, so they actually weren’t too sure of it). The access to everything is too easy to assume that things will last forever. We are bombarded with loads of data every day; there are so many distractions within every single hour that it became really difficult to keep your focus for one full minute. It’s impossible not to change with this amount of information we’re getting daily.

That’s why I believe it’s crazy to think that your life will go exactly as you always thought it would. You’re a bit delusional thinking that everyone and everything will stay the same. It’s just impossible. And even if you are pretty sure what you want now, you just can’t be so sure anymore if this is what you keep wanting in a few years from now. People won’t be staying at one company for years as they used to. They know that there are other jobs out there and other opportunities that can be explored. Half of the people will be probably working for themselves soon, anyway. People travel more, they observe, they know that there are different lifestyles out there; they know that they can live in different countries, that they can learn languages and decide on their own where they want to settle down (for some time, at least). Most people will reinvent themselves several times over within their lifetimes. The model of “marriage-kids-house-vacation once or twice a year” will satisfy only some couples. The rest will be constantly searching for something new.

And there is no such thing as a right or a wrong way of living. The only right way is the way that works for you. And the only wrong way is the way that makes you live someone else’s life, instead of the one you wanted.

I’m writing that not in order to scare you, or force you to quit your current plans, but just to encourage you to just check out your options and see what is it that works for you. I’m far from being pessimistic; I’m just realistic. Don’t agree on something just to make someone else happy. Don’t live the life your parents wanted you to live, don’t be scared to make your own decisions (btw: you don’t live for your parents, they have their own life). Talk to your partner, discuss other options, make sure you guys see your life and the lifestyle you want to have the same way. And remember to enjoy every day of the life you’ve chosen. Don’t get into this trap: “I’ll be happier when I get this amount of money/this guy/this house/this job…”. You may get it or you may not; it may actually make you happy, but it may also fail to bring about the happiness you expected. You have only today, so use it today. And check your options. Don’t be scared. Living the life you want is a lot of fun. And it’s worth all the sacrifices. 



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