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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?

added: 2018-07-26 , category: Transform Yourself

“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with starting new things and changing the old patterns.

Many people think that the most courageous “leaving the comfort zone” acts they can come up with are: (1) quitting their job (2) breaking up with their partners ,or (3) moving to another city or country. I used to believe the same. That was before I realized that you may actually do all these things and still stay in your comfort zone. It turned out that: (1) You may quit your job, but find another one that is equally boring or equally not up your alley as the one you just had; (2) You may leave your partner just to fall for a similar guy or his polar opposite (it doesn’t actually matter) right away; (3) You may leave your country just to end up with your compatriots who think and look the same as you do.

What’s wrong with these pictures…? The first example just shows that you really think that “this particular job” is a problem – not the profession or field you’ve chosen (ask yourself: do you even like it…?). Sometimes you end up in a prettier building, with a bigger paycheck, not noticing that you actually didn’t change that much. The second example shows that instead of giving yourself some time to process how your last relationship changed you and what are the lessons to be learned, you jump onto another guy right away (and the odds that you’ll make the same mistakes are pretty high). Do you even know who you want to be with and what are you able to give…? The third example shows that you don’t truly want to change the country, because being surrounded by the same people doesn’t change anything. You’re not seeking a new experience, you are most likely seeking for more money.

My definition of leaving one’s comfort zone is a bit different. I leave the comfort zone to push myself, to see what I’m made of, what I’m capable of and how am I able to change. So if I leave a job, I make sure the job I find has a completely different boss (if it was the boss who was the problem), or a different set of co-workers, or that it just makes me feel good. I just have to see the change for the better. If my relationship ends, I make sure I spend the following months thinking what didn’t working and who is it that I want to be with. I make sure I set up my standards and will not agree on anything less than that. And if I’m leaving my country, I make sure it’s not just for money. I happen to have left my country looking for a different mindset. I just knew that there were bigger things out there, that there were different ideas, different relationships, religions, and ways of thinking. I made sure I met people who are not like me; people who would question my definitions of life and will help me to understand that life is something more that I was taught. I made sure I met people from different religions, skin colors and backgrounds. I made sure that before I make any assumptions, I would listen and open my mind. It took me a while, but now I see how I changed. I’m not the same person and I couldn’t be happier that I’ve changed so much.

What I’m trying to say is this: my definition of leaving the comfort zone is questioning the things you’ve known so far. My country thought me that there was only one way of living and I knew it was bullshit. The truth is that you can design your own life, exactly the way you want to. You just have to be truly open to new ideas. You have to break free and leave your comfort zone of thinking and realize that there is a different life out there. The only downside I see is that I wouldn’t be able to change if I lived in my country. I had to leave it in order to change. I won’t encourage you to leave your country – most of you don’t even want it – but I will strongly encourage you to start questioning things. Just double check for yourself if the things they’ve been telling you are really true. And if they’re not and you want to change something, find this courage to slowly leave the mindset that doesn’t serve you. Seek for different answers. The more you open yourself, the more you know what’s right for you. And it might turn out that you want a completely different life for yourself.



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