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Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs To… Find the Frog That Rises to Your Standards
I’ve had a few men in my life so far, and they always disappeared at some point (nowadays, I realize that they actually did me a favor). Once, I used to think it was the end of the world, but ...

You Have To Punch Back
There is a saying in NY: If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And there is a reason for that. I always say that a relationship with this city is like a relationship with an abusive boy...

Why Does Time Have Value
I recently noticed that I’m able to guess how long a person have lived in NYC. It’s not that I know the exact number of years, but I can recognize if someone has been living here for jus...

Wait For the Understanding Nod
I recently chatted on Instagram with a guy (we haven’t met in real life, he just saw my photos on social media) and he said this thing, and I quote: “How come you’re still single? ...

Step 63 - It’s All About Priorities
I know a guy in NY who doesn’t like to spend money on a cup of coffee. He doesn’t understand why anyone would spend $6 on a cup of coffee when you can pay $15 for a whole bag. But at the...

“The Top Five Regrets of Dying” - Regret Number One
This is a continuation of my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “The Top Five Regrets of Dying,” this being the last one. I wrote about Regret Numbers Five, Four, Three and Two here. Regr...

Love is Born
I watched “A Star is born” recently and can’t stop thinking about this movie.  It’s a story that has been told in Hollywood many times already: that of a seasoned mus...

Just Like NY on UrbanCreativiti-tea.com!
I'm happy to have a guest apperance on Urban Creativi-tea! Thank you for having me! It's an honor!  If you're looking for any (fashion) inspiration check them out http://urbancreativi-tea.c...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?

added: 2018-07-11 , category: Transform Yourself

I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very important, because it so happens that both me and them decided to change something in our respective lives. We decided we want to grow and… Boy, I can tell you, that’s difficult! The more we learn about ourselves and the more we know what to change in order to evolve, the more we notice just how difficult that is. And the most difficult part of it all is letting go of your old self.

We’re so attached to who we think we are that believing in a new self requires humongous amount of energy. And I’ll be honest with you guys – there are days that I don’t know where to get this energy from. There are days when no resources seem left. You know you’re intelligent, you know what should be done – and yet for some reason you just fall back to your old self all over again. And everything you’ve learned so far just vanishes. You know it’s there, but you can’t get into it. And nothing helps. This state usually lasts for a few days. A few empty days when you beat yourself up and want to cry about everything (not to mention thinking you’re worth nothing).

I wish there was one universal recipe to come back on track. I wish there was a surefire technique for that, but I don’t think that there is a solution that would work for all of us. What I do during days like that, is I try to come back to gratitude. I’m just grateful for what I have. And I won’t lie – it’s not always enough, but it definitely helps. It’s definitely a great beginning. What I do, is I look up at the sky and say: “Thank you for another day”. I smile, because I’m happy that I can see, that I can walk, that I can work and be myself. I’m happy that I can breathe.

Three weeks ago I had an accident. Nothing major – it was raining and I slipped on subway stairs (it happens to many people every day, all over the world). I hit the stairs with my head, back and hip (I think the fall looked pretty spectacular). When I got up I could barely breathe. I came back home angry, but mostly terrified. I was afraid I broke something and was scared that I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed the next day.

I did get up, but everything was hurting. And as always in moments like that, I had only one thought – I just want to feel as I felt before. All I could think of was this: I just want to be myself again and I’ll be happy. I know it’s a cliché, but it helped me a lot to shift my focus (and I was worrying about stupid things that day). As someone wise said – 90% of things that you worry about won’t even happen. And I think the same about things that bring you down, the ones that you created in your head. Most likely, 90% of them are not even true. What I’m trying to say – instead of giving your attention to things that don’t exist, focus on the now. All you have is this moment right now. So look around. What do you see? Who do you see? Are these things you’re worrying about even real? Why are you choosing coming back to the past (or stressing out about the future) over being happy about the present? When these weird days come back, I just come back to TODAY. Because only TODAY is real. Everything else is just up in the air. What I suggest (also to myself) is this: make the best of today. Be more present and everything around you starts changing. And after today is another TODAY – make the best of that one, too. And of the next day… Start slowly rolling this ball and watch your mindset change. It gets easier, but unfortunately it’s a process that probably never stops, like growing.

I haven’t fully recovered yet (but luckily I can at least swim), but it’s getting better. And this is what I choose to focus on. Now.



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