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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.

added: 2018-06-28 , category: Transform Yourself

I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of people.  What do they do when they feel powerless, beyond their comfort zone, not ready to make a change and shift in perception? Have you noticed? They turn it around and get you off the hook. They’ll say: “It’s easier for you to do, because…” and then give you a list of circumstances they think made it easier for you to do, be or accomplish that they would only dream about. “If only I was given what you have, it would be much easier for me to be where you are.” I am so tired of this crap! For years, when I’ve told people that moving to New York is just one decision away, they’d look at me and say: “It’s easy for you to say. Your parents have a business in your hometown in Poland that you can always come back to if things don’t work out here in New York”. Yes, they’re right: it is my parents’ business, not mine, and secondly, if I wanted to work there, I would have stayed in Poland and have a life that’s not quite my own.

I won’t even get into the guilt I had to overcome thinking I am wrong for moving across the ocean to chase my own dreams. Those people don’t see it that way, they only see that I am born with the safety blanket.

I’ve noticed that this is a common response in casual conversations when people realize someone did something they secretly dream they would have done. Why would they react in such way, I ask? Because it is a learnt response and it’s just easier. And more convenient. It doesn’t require to try, to work through and overcome your own fears, boundaries or stereotypes. As soon as they say it, they feel an artificial relief and give themselves permission to stay exactly where they are.

Some justify it by pointing out my strong will as the sole reason for me accomplishing my goal. Strong will is not a super power and I am not quite sure if it even exists. I believe you can train your brain to take certain actions, you can train yourself to change your perception and ultimately change your life. The first step though is to admit to yourself that it is not that you can’t do but that you don’t want do to or are afraid to do. There are thousands of authors, motivational speakers and teachers that will help you do that if you’re ready to do the work.

I bet we all have heard or observed in one way or another, people and maybe even ourselves getting others off the hook without hesitation. “It’s easier for you, because you grew up in this kind of family,” or “it’s easier for you, because you are single and don’t have kids.” If you’re married with kids, however, “it’s easier for you because you’re being supported by your loving husband and you’re never lonely”. And the list goes on and on. Isn’t it funny when we realize that? I don’t even want to get into the fact that most of those assumptions about another person’s situation have barely ever anything to do with the truth, but it is just how we interpret and perceive based on where we are at in our lives.

I want to propose something. Next time you catch yourself falling for yet another excuse, ask yourself this question: if she did it, is it possible for me to do the same? Or better yet, ask her HOW she did it. Ask for specific steps and see if you can copy or use them to create your own plan of action. One of my favorite transformational coaches, Tony Robbins always says: if there is a will, there is a way. If something’s optional, you’ll find an excuse.

Be brave to take responsibility for your life. You can do this!



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