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justlikeny@gmail.com

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Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my pho...

Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?

added: 2018-02-26 , category: Transform Yourself

What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that I suddenly stopped caring. I don’t know when it happened and how it happened, but one day it hit me. It’s not that I’m completely unware of how it happened – I worked for it. I read, I listen to my favorite YouTube channels (Impact Theory and School of Greatness), have conversations with myself, pay attention to my thoughts, I’m kinder to myself – I just follow these steps I write in my “Transform yourself” section and I accept myself. It’s not easy and it requires self-awareness, but it’s definitely doable and – when you finally get there – it feels amazing.

What do I mean by “not caring”? I do care about people, of course. And I do care what people think about me – especially about my writing – but I just don’t feel the need to be likeable to everyone (or anyone to be exact – except for my close friends) anymore. This process has started some time ago already, but it suddenly hit me – I’m free of the “I want everyone to like me” feeling. It just doesn’t matter to me anymore. And when you’re not dependable on other people’s opinions of you, you set yourself free. Because from now on you start doing exactly what you really want to do.

Here’s the thing: most of the time you think you do what you want to do, but the truth is that it’s not at all like that. You still unconsciously think: “Will people like me once I do that?”. I’m probably still doing it myself, but then I turn this voice off and say: “Ok, but what is it I want to do? I want to write about something that bothers me; I might offend someone’s feelings, but… what about my feelings?” That’s the biggest shift – you put yourself first. And it’s not only about being selfish (and btw I’m pro being selfish); it’s about standing up for yourself and for what truly matters to you. Yes, other people’s feelings matter, but hey – what about your feelings?

To be able to fully express yourself is such a huge privilege and  the funny part is, we all have easy access to that and yet – not many people are taking advantage of it. It’s rarely that anyone does, actually. And why is it important? Because you don’t want to get lost in someone’s else thoughts and their view of life. And this is exactly what happens if you follow what’s “likeable”. So stop doing it. It’s not about what others think anymore, it’s about your voice. Have the courage to not only have your own opinions, but to express them. Stand up for yourself and don’t tremble every time someone tells you that they don’t agree with you. They don’t – and so what…? Does it make you less right? No, you’re still right, you just have different opinions, and that’s perfectly fine. The world in which everyone agrees on the same things doesn’t exist and never will. So if your goal is to satisfy others, you’re on the mission that is a spectacular failure to start with. Your opinion really does matter, simply because it’s yours. Stand up for yourself and don’t let others bully you. Because it is bullying. No one owns the exclusive right to be right. Maybe your opinion is crap and you will soon discover that, but for this moment – own it. You’re as important as everyone else and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s the other way round.  



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