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We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

The Most Annoying American Family
I must say, I’m so fed up with these fake images and fake lives that are all over social media now. And there is one family that makes me especially angry. You’ve p...

Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 52 - Don’t Assume (Or In Another Words, Don’t Judge)
We’re all guilty of it. We judge. And even if you say or think that you don’t, I have bad news for you – yes, you do. We all classify people based on our knowledge of the...

Stereotypes. Have Enough Class To Not Say Anything
I wrote about stereotypes already, but the longer I live here, the more I see that not much is changing in this matter. Living in NY will help you learn more about other cultures, but it doesn&rsq...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves

added: 2018-01-10 , category: Transform Yourself

Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, what they expect from guys, etc. And I would love to help all of those women, but I just can’t – because they just don’t want to be help.

I have written about this a few times on Just Like NY – I have this theory that you know who you’re dealing with from the very beginning. There are certain types of behavior in a guy that are there since day one. And girl, don’t bullshit me you don’t see them. What you do, is you simply look the other way, hoping that they’ll be gone after a while.  And even if you don’t see them (I still don’t believe you don’t!), just ask your friends. Introduce your guy to your closest friends and ask them their opinion. But, hey: LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY. They know you better than you’d think. They will notice if you’re treated with the respect you deserve. Ask them and LISTEN. It doesn’t mean that only because your friends say something,  you should be immediately breaking up with the guy , but you MUST talk to him and ask him to change the behavior you don’t like. If you don’t speak up now, you’re just stupid. Why am I being so harsh…? Because you set a trap for yourself. You pretend that this thing doesn’t bother you, when in fact it makes you really unhappy. And what happens is, you’ll be miserable and you’ll explode one day. And he’ll be confused, because you knew those things about him from the beginning and you never said anything. And he’ll be angry at you now – and he has every right to be, because you suddenly want him to change.

I just simply DON’T GET IT. Why don’t you speak up at the beginning? Why…? Please explain it to me, because I really don’t understand. Your need to be with someone is so strong that you’re ready to sacrifice yourself…? For what…? Just for the sake of someone being there? How about the fact that this someone doesn’t even know you? Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t make you happy!  

I know you all will say – it’s not that easy. I don’t agree with you again, it’s the opposite – it is very easy. You simply say: Listen, I really didn’t like the way you talked to me / I didn’t like what you said yesterday / I didn’t like the way you treated me last week. Say it right away, especially at the beginning of your relationship, when you’re still not that involved and your heart and head are still pretty clear. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will get.

It happens so often that I’m just really amazed. All women follow the same pattern – all of them. You have to understand one thing – you get exactly what you agree on. You AGREED on the way he is treating you right now, so why do you even complain? How am I suppose to help you now? You did it to yourself, girl. You failed, because you didn’t set clear standards for your relationship from the beginning.

The main problem is that I know very well most of you will not even listen to me. No matter how hard I will try to explain it to you, how many books or articles I would recommend (or write), I just know you won’t do it. You will set another trap for yourself, you will find excuses for him and wait for him to change (I fucking hate this attitude!). Yeah, feel free to do it. And then wake up with tears in your eyes and go to bed with the same tears, because you didn’t get the life you deserved. It’s not that you didn’t get it. YOU didn’t give it to yourself. Blame yourself this time. Please, be brave to speak up when it’s not too late yet. Because I truly believe that you really deserve the life you want. But you also have to believe in that – and that might be the most difficult step for you to make. It so happens it’s also the single most important one. 



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