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Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How do I conquer fear?
Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a j...

Step 51- What does it take for you to understand what it’s all about?
I just finished Tim Ferriss’ book, “Tribe of Mentors,” and one of the people featured in his book is a woman named Turia Pitt. I haven’t looked up every p...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finall...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
  In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, since I didn’t know what people would think, ...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
  I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yo...

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves

added: 2018-01-10 , category: Transform Yourself

Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, what they expect from guys, etc. And I would love to help all of those women, but I just can’t – because they just don’t want to be help.

I have written about this a few times on Just Like NY – I have this theory that you know who you’re dealing with from the very beginning. There are certain types of behavior in a guy that are there since day one. And girl, don’t bullshit me you don’t see them. What you do, is you simply look the other way, hoping that they’ll be gone after a while.  And even if you don’t see them (I still don’t believe you don’t!), just ask your friends. Introduce your guy to your closest friends and ask them their opinion. But, hey: LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY. They know you better than you’d think. They will notice if you’re treated with the respect you deserve. Ask them and LISTEN. It doesn’t mean that only because your friends say something,  you should be immediately breaking up with the guy , but you MUST talk to him and ask him to change the behavior you don’t like. If you don’t speak up now, you’re just stupid. Why am I being so harsh…? Because you set a trap for yourself. You pretend that this thing doesn’t bother you, when in fact it makes you really unhappy. And what happens is, you’ll be miserable and you’ll explode one day. And he’ll be confused, because you knew those things about him from the beginning and you never said anything. And he’ll be angry at you now – and he has every right to be, because you suddenly want him to change.

I just simply DON’T GET IT. Why don’t you speak up at the beginning? Why…? Please explain it to me, because I really don’t understand. Your need to be with someone is so strong that you’re ready to sacrifice yourself…? For what…? Just for the sake of someone being there? How about the fact that this someone doesn’t even know you? Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t make you happy!  

I know you all will say – it’s not that easy. I don’t agree with you again, it’s the opposite – it is very easy. You simply say: Listen, I really didn’t like the way you talked to me / I didn’t like what you said yesterday / I didn’t like the way you treated me last week. Say it right away, especially at the beginning of your relationship, when you’re still not that involved and your heart and head are still pretty clear. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will get.

It happens so often that I’m just really amazed. All women follow the same pattern – all of them. You have to understand one thing – you get exactly what you agree on. You AGREED on the way he is treating you right now, so why do you even complain? How am I suppose to help you now? You did it to yourself, girl. You failed, because you didn’t set clear standards for your relationship from the beginning.

The main problem is that I know very well most of you will not even listen to me. No matter how hard I will try to explain it to you, how many books or articles I would recommend (or write), I just know you won’t do it. You will set another trap for yourself, you will find excuses for him and wait for him to change (I fucking hate this attitude!). Yeah, feel free to do it. And then wake up with tears in your eyes and go to bed with the same tears, because you didn’t get the life you deserved. It’s not that you didn’t get it. YOU didn’t give it to yourself. Blame yourself this time. Please, be brave to speak up when it’s not too late yet. Because I truly believe that you really deserve the life you want. But you also have to believe in that – and that might be the most difficult step for you to make. It so happens it’s also the single most important one. 



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