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“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Three
  I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret number five and four hereand here. The third regret is: &bdquo...

NY Through My Eyes - West Village, October 2018
I started my You Tube series "NY Through My Eyes". My goal is to explore the most interesting NY neighborhoods. I took off with the West Village. More (and better) to come. I'll be talking a...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Four
I continue my posts about Bronnie Ware’s “Five Top Regrets of the Dying”. I wrote about regret no. 5 here. The fourth regret is: „I wish I stayed in touch with my friend...

Color Factory - Wake Up Your Inner Child
The problem with NY is that we have too much of everything. There are so many events every day that sometimes - or most of the time - you just choose…to stay at home. And that’s exactly...

Your Opinion of Me Is None of My Business
Yeah, I know. The second you hear the sentence I chose for the title of this post, it sounds very cocky to you. It sounds like my self-esteem is sky-rocketing and my ego is bursting at the seams. Bu...

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” - Regret Number Five
For some reason, I’ve kept seeing again the list of “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” poping up recently all the time. It’s a list created by Bronnie Ware, based on her best- ...

Step 61 - Forget About “Finding Your Passion”
I’ve already written in Just Like NY about “looking for a passion,” but I have a few new thoughts on the subject.  First of all, forget about this trend of “live yo...

Just Let Us Be the Woman We Want To Be
I was recently riding the subway and I looked around as I always do (unless I’m around my period and don’t want to look at anyone). I looked at women this time (it rarely happens, but th...

Breathwork with XPT
    I admire and follow many people on social media – always in search for an inspiration – and whenever I see some of them come to NY, I almost jump up to the sky at the pro...

Make Your Own Choice
I was recently called out on holding a supposedly strongly stance against marriage. Since it happened twice in one month, I feel like something I said was actually lost in translation.  I neve...

What’s the deal with meditation?
I don’t know what it’s like everywhere else, but here in the US, meditation has become very popular, to the point where companies hire teachers to give...

Give What You Get
A week ago, I got a text message from a guy I went on a date with… a year before. I didn’t expect to hear from him again (which is why I deleted his number), so I was pretty surprised.&...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves

added: 2018-01-10 , category: Transform Yourself

Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, what they expect from guys, etc. And I would love to help all of those women, but I just can’t – because they just don’t want to be help.

I have written about this a few times on Just Like NY – I have this theory that you know who you’re dealing with from the very beginning. There are certain types of behavior in a guy that are there since day one. And girl, don’t bullshit me you don’t see them. What you do, is you simply look the other way, hoping that they’ll be gone after a while.  And even if you don’t see them (I still don’t believe you don’t!), just ask your friends. Introduce your guy to your closest friends and ask them their opinion. But, hey: LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY. They know you better than you’d think. They will notice if you’re treated with the respect you deserve. Ask them and LISTEN. It doesn’t mean that only because your friends say something,  you should be immediately breaking up with the guy , but you MUST talk to him and ask him to change the behavior you don’t like. If you don’t speak up now, you’re just stupid. Why am I being so harsh…? Because you set a trap for yourself. You pretend that this thing doesn’t bother you, when in fact it makes you really unhappy. And what happens is, you’ll be miserable and you’ll explode one day. And he’ll be confused, because you knew those things about him from the beginning and you never said anything. And he’ll be angry at you now – and he has every right to be, because you suddenly want him to change.

I just simply DON’T GET IT. Why don’t you speak up at the beginning? Why…? Please explain it to me, because I really don’t understand. Your need to be with someone is so strong that you’re ready to sacrifice yourself…? For what…? Just for the sake of someone being there? How about the fact that this someone doesn’t even know you? Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t make you happy!  

I know you all will say – it’s not that easy. I don’t agree with you again, it’s the opposite – it is very easy. You simply say: Listen, I really didn’t like the way you talked to me / I didn’t like what you said yesterday / I didn’t like the way you treated me last week. Say it right away, especially at the beginning of your relationship, when you’re still not that involved and your heart and head are still pretty clear. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will get.

It happens so often that I’m just really amazed. All women follow the same pattern – all of them. You have to understand one thing – you get exactly what you agree on. You AGREED on the way he is treating you right now, so why do you even complain? How am I suppose to help you now? You did it to yourself, girl. You failed, because you didn’t set clear standards for your relationship from the beginning.

The main problem is that I know very well most of you will not even listen to me. No matter how hard I will try to explain it to you, how many books or articles I would recommend (or write), I just know you won’t do it. You will set another trap for yourself, you will find excuses for him and wait for him to change (I fucking hate this attitude!). Yeah, feel free to do it. And then wake up with tears in your eyes and go to bed with the same tears, because you didn’t get the life you deserved. It’s not that you didn’t get it. YOU didn’t give it to yourself. Blame yourself this time. Please, be brave to speak up when it’s not too late yet. Because I truly believe that you really deserve the life you want. But you also have to believe in that – and that might be the most difficult step for you to make. It so happens it’s also the single most important one. 



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