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How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, the more I real...

Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very i...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,” “W...

What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
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Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety of ...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighbor...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (you can&rsqu...

It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

How do I conquer fear?

added: 2017-12-28 , category: Transform Yourself

Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a job, or you don’t start a relationship, or you don’t go on the vacation you wanted, all because you’re afraid. 

 

I’m afraid, too. But I’ve started to practice taming my fear. The first thing I did was finally start looking for a job and sending my resume. Some of you would say that that’s nothing, but I’m telling you – for some people it’s something. Because every time you send a resume, you have to face the fact that they might not get back to you. And that’s basically rejection, which no one enjoys. I sent my resume to places I would had never sent it before. I used to think that I’m just not good enough for these places. Why I was able to send it this time? It’s because of one sentence I read recently: “Sometimes life gives you a gift and doesn’t give you what you want.” I believe in energy. I believe that the universe will help me when I need it. So, when I don’t get an e-mail back, I know it wasn’t for me. 


One of the places I applied to got back to me and I went in for an interview. I never expected to be invited to that placeAt the beginning of the interview, I realized that it’s not exactly what I was looking for (the description in the offer was a bit different). I still tried to impress them and stay cool (even though I was interviewed by four people), but I knew I didn’t give 100%, because deep down I didn’t want it. A day before that interview I read the sentence I told you about and told myself – if it goes poorly or they don’t call me back, it means I should just give up on that field and start really chasing my dreams. The job I applied for was a “safe bet,” something that I didn’t quite want, but something that I had chance of getting (based on my experience)In other words - I was led by fear again. I conquered my fear when it comes to actually sending resumes, but I haven’t when it comes to the dream job I really want. 


They didn’t call me back, but I was fine with that. I didn’t treat it as a failure on my part. It actually made me stronger – I was interviewed by a few people at well-known establishment and I didn’t panic. I answered their questions, and more importantly, I asked them more questions than they asked me. (I kind of had a strategy – let me ask you these questions to find out if I want to work here). That’s an achievement (in my eyes). I’m planning on sending more resumes and going on more interviews. It’s great for boosting your self-confidence. You might ask: even if they don’t call you back? Yes, even then, because you train yourself and find out what it is that you really want to do. Believe me - if they don’t call you back, you’ll survive. Just tell yourself what I keep saying – I just got a gift, because I didn’t get what wasn’t for me. But there will be one change in my approach – I will only apply for jobs that I really want. And I will follow this rule: “If it’s not ‘hell yeah,’ then it’s simply ‘no.’”


Whatever fear you have, always remember – it’s bigger in your head than it actually is in reality. Let this help you to reach for the things you really want. Maybe you won't get what you wanted and that might be exactly what you needed to get.



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