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Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?
Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, be...

I Can’t Help Women if They Don’t Want to Help Themselves
Ladies, I can’t cope with you. I really can’t, not anymore. I keep hearing women complaining about men. They complain how badly men treat them, how terribly guys behave towards them, wha...

How To Say Goodbye To the Old Year?
My goodbye to the year that has just ended usually takes on a form of a few hour session with myself. What I usually do is I take my list of goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year to di...

What Does It Mean To Be a True Gentleman
One of my male friends sent me an article arguing that chivalry is not dead and that there are true gentlemen out there who would “make us melt”. The article presented us with 9 things t...

How do I conquer fear?
Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a j...

Step 51- What does it take for you to understand what it’s all about?
I just finished Tim Ferriss’ book, “Tribe of Mentors,” and one of the people featured in his book is a woman named Turia Pitt. I haven’t looked up every p...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox
I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finall...

What changed in me after Tony Robbins’ workshops?
  In March 2016, I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power workshops. I wasn’t going to write about it at all, since I didn’t know what people would think, ...

When I know you’re not a New Yorker?
  I think I’m becoming an expert at recognizing real New Yorkers. What do I mean by that? I love watching people, taking notice of their behaviors and habits. That means I watch New Yo...

“I’m Not…”…? I say It’s Bullshit
I think that many people have no idea how important it is to pay attention the words you use. I believe I have written about that on Just Like NY already, but it’s important to keep talking abo...

Body – dangerous field
This is a difficult topic, but I still want to write about it: body and body image. We all know how the media treats our bodies and what kind of body image is presented to us. I’ve written about...

Step 49 - What’s Your Next Step After You’ve Failed?
My spinning instructor keeps saying: “It’s not important what you do when you’re strong; the most important thing is what you do when you have no strength at all”. And every...

How do I conquer fear?

added: 2017-12-28 , category: Transform Yourself

Fear rules our lives, whether you want to admit it or not. All of your decisions are based on fear. All of your choices are rooted in your fears. You don’t apply for a job, or you don’t start a relationship, or you don’t go on the vacation you wanted, all because you’re afraid. 

 

I’m afraid, too. But I’ve started to practice taming my fear. The first thing I did was finally start looking for a job and sending my resume. Some of you would say that that’s nothing, but I’m telling you – for some people it’s something. Because every time you send a resume, you have to face the fact that they might not get back to you. And that’s basically rejection, which no one enjoys. I sent my resume to places I would had never sent it before. I used to think that I’m just not good enough for these places. Why I was able to send it this time? It’s because of one sentence I read recently: “Sometimes life gives you a gift and doesn’t give you what you want.” I believe in energy. I believe that the universe will help me when I need it. So, when I don’t get an e-mail back, I know it wasn’t for me. 


One of the places I applied to got back to me and I went in for an interview. I never expected to be invited to that placeAt the beginning of the interview, I realized that it’s not exactly what I was looking for (the description in the offer was a bit different). I still tried to impress them and stay cool (even though I was interviewed by four people), but I knew I didn’t give 100%, because deep down I didn’t want it. A day before that interview I read the sentence I told you about and told myself – if it goes poorly or they don’t call me back, it means I should just give up on that field and start really chasing my dreams. The job I applied for was a “safe bet,” something that I didn’t quite want, but something that I had chance of getting (based on my experience)In other words - I was led by fear again. I conquered my fear when it comes to actually sending resumes, but I haven’t when it comes to the dream job I really want. 


They didn’t call me back, but I was fine with that. I didn’t treat it as a failure on my part. It actually made me stronger – I was interviewed by a few people at well-known establishment and I didn’t panic. I answered their questions, and more importantly, I asked them more questions than they asked me. (I kind of had a strategy – let me ask you these questions to find out if I want to work here). That’s an achievement (in my eyes). I’m planning on sending more resumes and going on more interviews. It’s great for boosting your self-confidence. You might ask: even if they don’t call you back? Yes, even then, because you train yourself and find out what it is that you really want to do. Believe me - if they don’t call you back, you’ll survive. Just tell yourself what I keep saying – I just got a gift, because I didn’t get what wasn’t for me. But there will be one change in my approach – I will only apply for jobs that I really want. And I will follow this rule: “If it’s not ‘hell yeah,’ then it’s simply ‘no.’”


Whatever fear you have, always remember – it’s bigger in your head than it actually is in reality. Let this help you to reach for the things you really want. Maybe you won't get what you wanted and that might be exactly what you needed to get.



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