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Don’t judge by the chapter you walked into.
It’s a new year, so I want you to change one thing. I would say “we,” but I’ve already been working on it the last two years (not that I’ve mastered it yet). Don’...

Why Some Women Don’t Want to Have Kids (And Why the Reason Is Not What You Think It Is)
Yes, I want to write about it (again), because it bothers me. I recently realized I don’t want to have kids (now and maybe ever). And I realized how difficult it is for a woman not only to adm...

You’re Fine
2018 has been a very successful year for me, because I finally understand that I’m completely fine. I just look at myself and I finally see myself. It took me half my life to understand it, bu...

It’s Profound to Be Understood
As Whoopi Goldberg said in her book „If He Says: ‚You complete me’ — Run!”, which I’ve already written about on JLNY some time ago, people tend to mistake love fo...

You’re Always Becoming
Michelle Obama released her book memoir, „Becoming”, and I keep seeing it everywhere in NYC. I haven’t read it yet and now I really want to. Not because I consider Barack Obam...

Drop This Attitude
I just had my best friend Gosia visited me from Chicago a few weeks ago. We spent the whole weekend together excited about each other. We did a few activities, but what was the most important was th...

Is Your Partner’s Skin Color or Country of Origin Relevant At All?
I will answer the titular question right away: „I don’t think so”. And I’m pretty sure I am right. I honestly don’t understand this whole theory about having a partner ...

How To Get the Body You Want
Have you ever said to yourself: “I’m so fat”…? Or “I can’t even look at myself”…?. Or “I will never lose all this weight”…? Or &l...

Accept the challenge
Until now, my favorite sentence was always: “Hope he’ll change after we get married.” (Yeah,  sure, into a pumpkin…) But there is a new contender that I find equally ...

NY Love Story A.D. 2019
I don’t like romantic comedies. And I can tell you why. Once, it used to be my favorite genre, but I grew up since then (a bit). Also — I moved to NY. Romantic comedies just don’t ...

When Was the Last Time Your Journal Embarrassed You?
When was the last time you said to yourself: “This is embarrassing”, and you actually meant yourself…? Well, it just happened to me. I sat down to write about something else and I...

Why It’s Important To Not Look Like Shit
Here is my question: Why do you think it’s a good idea to look like shit at home? Some people put on their worst clothes at home - clothes with holes, stretched out, worn out, old and ugly. (B...

Step 51- What does it take for you to understand what it’s all about?

added: 2017-12-20 , category: Transform Yourself

I just finished Tim Ferriss’ book, “Tribe of Mentors,” and one of the people featured in his book is a woman named Turia Pitt. I haven’t looked up every person in this book, but for some reason I Instagrammed Turia right away. And it just hit me. I went on YouTube to watch her Ted Talk and…I cried a few times watching it (it takes 18 minutes, so I basically cried almost the whole time). Why did it hit me so hard? Turia is Australian, and was an ex-fitness model and a successful mining engineer. In 2011, when she was 24, she was caught in a firestorm while competing in a 100km ultramarathon in Western Australia. 64% of her body was burned. She suffered a lot. She couldn’t move, walk, or really do anything. She had to wear a mask for twyears! The damage to her body is still strongly visible even now. Doctors said she would never run again. After the accident, she moved in with her boyfriend and his parents. She’s been with her boyfriend ever since and is pregnant now. She not only walks, runs (she started running after a year), bikes and travels, she also gives speeches and has written two books. One of her hands has only four fingers, but she just started using it again – she can feed herself, she can lift objects, and she’s slowly coming back to where she was before. Will she ever be the same person? No, she will not. She is changed forever; everything changed. When I look at the cover of her book, “Unmasked,” I have tears in my eyes. It’s so bold what she did. She is standing there showing her burned body, covered with scars. She looks straight into the camera, smiling. How strong must you be to get to a state like that? Where do you gather this strength from? I wish I could talk to her one day. I have so many questions to ask her. I can’t wait to read her book. People like her are the people I admire and look up to. I don’t care about celebrities - I care about people whose lives are a true testament to living. Her appreciation of life is really inspiring.

One of the things Turia said was, “When I was younger, it’s not like I was ungrateful, but I never stopped to take the time to reflect on everything I had going for me. Now I do a gratitude practice every morning.” After all she went through, she wakes up and is grateful. And there are people out there (most of us) who have two legs and  two arms, good jobs and money, and can do whatever the fuck they want and they still wake up angry or unhappy with their lives. And my question to them is: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, though – what the fuck is wrong with you? What will it take for you to understand that life is about something other than you think? Do you even take time to reflect? Can you even see how lucky are you? I bet Turia has bad days or days when she asks herself, why did it happened to me?” but I also believe that most days she is just grateful that she is still alive. She said that the day she was able to feed herself for the first time again her whole family was present and started crying. Do you understand my point now? 


I know you have bad days; I have them too. I know you’re ambitious and you want to achieve something more. You have high hopes for the life you imagined for yourself, and when it’s not going according to your plan, you’re disappointed and think that “nothing makes sense anymore.” Let yourself feel like that for a day or two (I wrote about recently), but then just look around. Just stop and look around. You really do have everything you need. What has to happen to you to finally understand that? So wake up tomorrow and simply be grateful. Be grateful for all of the “basics” that you probably think are irrelevant and which you almost certainly take for granted. And from now on, every time you go down this hole,” think about Turia and think of two things – that your life might change in a heartbeat so just enjoy it right now, and be happy with what you have and who you are right now. And that you’re stronger than you think you are and that you can overcome the obstacles you have right now. The obstacles are usually smaller than your fears. Don’t wait for something drastic to happen to you to look at life as a great gift that you can share with others.




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