Just like NY



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Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

What Does It Mean To Be Successful? My Five Years In NYC
It’s been five years since I decided to live in NY. These were five difficult years, and yet ones filled many amazing moments and great people I’ve met along the way. But five years i...

Step 60 - What Does It Really Mean To Leave Your Comfort Zone?
“Leaving the comfort zone” became a very common phrase these past few years. It is associated with the idea of breaking free from the life you’ve had so far – with sta...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

Step 59 - How Many (Facebook) Friends Do You Need?
  I remember when Facebook first came into our lives, we were all kind of proud of the fact that our friend count was growing. The more there is social media in our lives, th...

Step 58 - Are You Able To Let Your Old Self Go?
I’m lucky enough to have a few friends whom I can share my fears, tears and happy moments with. These are friends with whom I can go through any emotional rollercoaster. It’s very...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
  There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 57 - What You Really Need Is A Connection…With Yourself
I lead a life that I didn’t expect to be leading right now. (No, I’m not a princess living in a castle.) Six months ago, I decided not to have internet in my apartment. I have it on my p...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
  Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox

added: 2017-12-09 , category: Transform Yourself

I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally arrived. And when it arrived… I froze. I was shocked by my body reaction, but it actually froze. Instead of relaxing, I caught myself being tense. I don’t remember having a week off for myself in NY – I don’t think it ever happened so far. So when it finally did happen, I …just got confused. And it took me a few days to realize what caused my reaction.

Usually when I have a few days off, I go somewhere. That means that I keep my mind occupied, since all my senses are awake and ready to explore. But this time I stayed in the environment I know, I wasn’t exposed to new experiences. I live in NY, so I can experience something new every day, of course, but in general – I stayed at the same apartment, I used the same subway system, I even went to the same places and met with the same people; that means that nothing changed overall. And I realized that my body is not used to being idle in NY. It’s not used to slowing down. I always liked a fast pace of living and I like to keep myself busy and active. I just really like being “productive” – and it was always like that. I thought I changed the past two years though, but apparently I haven’t and that’s something that hit me really hard lately. I don’t only keep myself busy, but I think I even speeded up without noticing that. It took me two days to change my approach. I decided that instead of making the list I had prepared for myself in my head, I will just simply… do nothing. Including not even working out (and I usually work out 4 times a week). After two days, I started noticing that my body was letting go, and that the tension was going down. I was going to coffee shops, watching people, meeting my friends – every day a different person – and writing. After five days on my “speed detox”, I finally felt relaxed. My body did let go.

The entire experience made me think. Because of my pace, I’m sure I’m missing out on many things. But not only that – I exhaust my body, which all the time is trying to keep up with me. It doesn’t mean that I will completely zen out right now, but something has to change. And it’s not because this lifestyle doesn’t make me happy. It does – I wouldn’t live that way if it didn’t make me smile. Something has to change, because I don’t think it’s natural to have your mind spin around all the time, or to feel guilty every time you sit down and don’t do anything. And this is how I always feel when I let myself loosen up.  Yes, I am ambitious, and I want to achieve great things, but I think that there is a better way to do it. I finally understood that those days when I don’t do anything are just as important as the days when I have full speed ahead and work for 14 hours straight. I realized that a day shouldn’t be considered “a good day” just because it was productive. Here is the alignment that reveled itself to me: we do need both kind of days, these “lazy” and the productive ones. They are equally important and necessary. Our bodies and minds can’t constantly run and move forward; they have to stop and reflect once in a while. Otherwise you will always feel this huge gap within you that you would desperately try to fill up. You can’t fill it up if you’re constantly chasing the void. You have to slow down. I have to slow down. I thought that having my hour of not doing anything in a coffee shop once or twice a week would be enough. No, it’s not. It doesn’t mean that I suddenly stop working or working out, I just have to be more careful with what I want my life to be. And I want mine to be full – and that, to me, means: balanced. I know that all these achievers say to push harder, to work harder, to thrive, but you know what…? I think I prefer to have a longer journey to my goal and be happy about it, than to die on a finish line.   



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