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It’s Your Man Or...Your Girlfriend?
I recently noticed a very scary pattern, and I’m wondering what is causing it. I’ve noticed that women are a bit lost and confused as to what kind of partner they want to have by thei...

Should I Dump Him?
I was just sitting in the sauna at my gym last week, and I couldn’t help but overheard the conversation of two women around my age (even though I was trying very hard to focus on the guys in spe...

We all pretend it’s normal…
We all pretend that life in NY is normal. Just today I had the day off, which isn’t usually for a Thursday, and I decided to go to the gym before noon. I got on a train at 10am and...

What If I Told You That You Can Have a Different Life?
I know I will sound very naïve now, but I had a recent revelation I would like to share with you. I started thinking about the choices we make and why we actually make them. Those who have rea...

Poor Rich Kids
I have mentioned money in NYC on Just Like NY a few times already. There is a lot of money here, and people spend lots of it on a variety of weird and stupid things sometimes....

Do You Want To Be Famous?
Because I’ve been living here for almost five years now, I tend to forget what kind of place NYC is. It’s where fantasy keeps meeting reality. The longer you live here, the more “...

Double Standard – Why Are Women Treated Differently?
I had a situation that I wrote about on Facebook, but I want to write more about it, because there is more to it.  So there was a guy, a customer of mine who I had met maybe three times, who&n...

Why Having a Boyfriend Will Not Make You Happy?
When I was a teenage girl (that is one week ago… just kidding), my biggest dream was to have a boyfriend. Especially since a weekly column called “Love Story” from “Bravo&r...

What Happens Once You Stop Caring If People Like You?
What happens once you stop caring if people like you…? It’s simple – your life starts changing. Yes, it’s that huge. One day I realized that it happened to me – that ...

Men and Sex
What is it that men want when it comes to sex…? The thing is: they want to have everything. Including a virgin. That’s the funniest part. I didn’t have a lot of sex in my life (c...

The Most Annoying American Family
I must say, I’m so fed up with these fake images and fake lives that are all over social media now. And there is one family that makes me especially angry. You’ve p...

Step 53 - Do You Have A Choice?
I believe I have already written about what I am about to say in this post, but I’ll be coming back to the subject, because it’s really important. I notice more and more often that we ge...

Step 50 - Slow Down (Daga). Speed Detox

added: 2017-12-09 , category: Transform Yourself

I just had a few days off. And I was so excited about these days off that I have been coming up with different ideas on how to spend them. I had new ideas almost every day before that week finally arrived. And when it arrived… I froze. I was shocked by my body reaction, but it actually froze. Instead of relaxing, I caught myself being tense. I don’t remember having a week off for myself in NY – I don’t think it ever happened so far. So when it finally did happen, I …just got confused. And it took me a few days to realize what caused my reaction.

Usually when I have a few days off, I go somewhere. That means that I keep my mind occupied, since all my senses are awake and ready to explore. But this time I stayed in the environment I know, I wasn’t exposed to new experiences. I live in NY, so I can experience something new every day, of course, but in general – I stayed at the same apartment, I used the same subway system, I even went to the same places and met with the same people; that means that nothing changed overall. And I realized that my body is not used to being idle in NY. It’s not used to slowing down. I always liked a fast pace of living and I like to keep myself busy and active. I just really like being “productive” – and it was always like that. I thought I changed the past two years though, but apparently I haven’t and that’s something that hit me really hard lately. I don’t only keep myself busy, but I think I even speeded up without noticing that. It took me two days to change my approach. I decided that instead of making the list I had prepared for myself in my head, I will just simply… do nothing. Including not even working out (and I usually work out 4 times a week). After two days, I started noticing that my body was letting go, and that the tension was going down. I was going to coffee shops, watching people, meeting my friends – every day a different person – and writing. After five days on my “speed detox”, I finally felt relaxed. My body did let go.

The entire experience made me think. Because of my pace, I’m sure I’m missing out on many things. But not only that – I exhaust my body, which all the time is trying to keep up with me. It doesn’t mean that I will completely zen out right now, but something has to change. And it’s not because this lifestyle doesn’t make me happy. It does – I wouldn’t live that way if it didn’t make me smile. Something has to change, because I don’t think it’s natural to have your mind spin around all the time, or to feel guilty every time you sit down and don’t do anything. And this is how I always feel when I let myself loosen up.  Yes, I am ambitious, and I want to achieve great things, but I think that there is a better way to do it. I finally understood that those days when I don’t do anything are just as important as the days when I have full speed ahead and work for 14 hours straight. I realized that a day shouldn’t be considered “a good day” just because it was productive. Here is the alignment that reveled itself to me: we do need both kind of days, these “lazy” and the productive ones. They are equally important and necessary. Our bodies and minds can’t constantly run and move forward; they have to stop and reflect once in a while. Otherwise you will always feel this huge gap within you that you would desperately try to fill up. You can’t fill it up if you’re constantly chasing the void. You have to slow down. I have to slow down. I thought that having my hour of not doing anything in a coffee shop once or twice a week would be enough. No, it’s not. It doesn’t mean that I suddenly stop working or working out, I just have to be more careful with what I want my life to be. And I want mine to be full – and that, to me, means: balanced. I know that all these achievers say to push harder, to work harder, to thrive, but you know what…? I think I prefer to have a longer journey to my goal and be happy about it, than to die on a finish line.   



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